ever ending - roulette (feat. crawlenely) Lyrics

So I'll pretend that I'm okay
A revolver in my desk but I won't play
Russian roulette but I'm the only
Person playing why am I hesitating
One, grab a loaded gun
You take it to your room and you hate what you've become
Now two, you aim it and you shoot
Your trigger finger's itching thinking what you got to lose?
Now three, no time to overthink
There's no time to analyze all the things you'd leave
Now four, make sure you lock the door
So nobody will come when your body hits the floor
So I'll pretend that I'm okay
A revolver in my desk but I won't play
Russian roulette but I'm the only
Person playing why am I hesitating
Put my blunt in the ashtray
A revolver in my hands but I can't play
Russian roulette, somebody stop me
But I'm still playing why am I hesitating
Never lived a moment without an instant courage to give up
I keep a lot of shit to myself one day I'll explode
Some people come, some people go
That's how it works but I refuse to believe
That some can leave a massive hole you can't fill in
Fingers on the trigger, shivers down my spine
I feel weaker
All my bullets silver, revolver's gonna deliver
I consider to forgive her
But my empathy would kill her
Can I get at least one day without being a people pleaser
So I'll pretend that I'm okay
A revolver in my desk but I won't play
Russian roulette but I'm the only
Person playing why am I hesitating
Put my blunt in the ashtray
A revolver in my hands but I can't play
Russian roulette, somebody stop me
But I'm still playing why am I hesitating
So I'll pretend that I'm okay
A revolver in my desk but I won't play
Russian roulette but I'm the only
Person playing why am I hesitating
Put my blunt in the ashtray
A revolver in my hands but I can't play
Russian roulette, somebody stop me
But I'm still playing why am I hesitating