Chicago Soundtrack Album Lyrics

[VELMA]
Come on babe
Why don't we paint the town?
And all that Jazz

I'm gonna rouge my knees
And roll my stockings down
And all that jazz

Start the car
I know a whoopee spot
Where the gin is cold
But the piano's hot

It's just a noisy hall
Where there's a nightly brawl
And all
That
Jazz

Slick your hair
And wear your buckle shoes
And all that Jazz

I hear that Father Dip
Is gonna blow the blues
And all that Jazz

Hold on, hon
We're gonna bunny hug
I bought some aspirin
Down at United Drug
I case you shake apart
And want a brand new start
To do that-

[VELMA AND COMPANY]
Jazz

[COMPANY]
Skidoo!

[VELMA]
And all that Jazz

[COMPANY]
Hotcha!
Whoopee!

[VELMA]
And all that Jazz

[COMPANY]
Ha! Ha! Ha!

It's just a noisy hall
Where there's a nightly brawl

[ALL]
And all that jazz

[CASELY (spoken)]
Listen, your husband ain't home, is he?

[VELMA (Spoken)]
No, her husband is not at home.

Find a flask
We're playing fast and loose

[ALL]
And all that jazz

[VELMA]
Right up here
Is where I store the juice

[ALL]
And all that jazz

[VELMA]
Come on, babe
We're gonna brush the sky
I bet you luck Lindy
Never flew so high
'Cause in the stratosphere
How could he lend an ear
To all that Jazz?

[COMPANY]
Oh, you're gonna see your sheba shimmy shake

[VELMA]
And all that jazz

[COMPANY]
Oh, she's gonna shimmy 'till her garters break

[VELMA]
And all that jazz

[COMPANY]
Show her where to park her girdle
Oh, her mother's blood'd curdle
If she'd hear her baby's queer
For all that jazz

[VELMA]
And All that jazz
Come on, babe
Why Don't we paint
The town?
And all that jazz

[COMPANY]
Oh, you're gonna see
Your
Sheba
Shimmy shake
And all that jazz

[VELMA]
I'm gonna
Rouge my knees
And roll my
Stockings down
And all that jazz

[COMPANY]
Oh
She's gonna shimmy
'Till her garters
Break
And all that jazz

[VELMA]
Start the car
I know a whoopee spot
Where the gin is cold
But the piano's hot
It's just a noisy hall
Where there's a nightly brawl
And all that jazz

[COMPANY]
Show her where to
Park her girdle
Oh, her mother's blood'd
Curdle
If she'd hear
Her baby's queer
For all that jazz

[ROXIE (Spoken)]
So that's it, huh Fred?

[CASELY (Spoken)]
Yeah, I'm afraid so, Roxie.

[ROXIE (Spoken)]
Oh, Fred...

[GIRLS (Spoken)]
Oh, Fred...

[CASELY (Spoken)]
Yeah?

[ROXIE (Spoken)]
Nobody walks out on me.

[CASELY (Spoken)]
Sweetheart-

[ROXIE (Spoken)]
Oh, don't "sweetheart" me,
You son-of-a-bitch!

[COMPANY]
Hotcha!
Whoopee!
Jazz!

[ROXIE (Spoken)]
Oh, I gotta pee!

[VELMA]
No, I'm no one's wife
But, Oh, I love my life
And all that Jazz!

[COMPANY]
That Jazz!

Renée Zellweger (Roxy)
Catherine Zeta-Jones (Velma)
Taye Diggs (Casely)

Sometime's I'm right
Sometime's I'm wrong
But he doesn't care
He'll String along
He loves me so
That funny honey of mine

Sometime's I'm down
Sometime's I'm up
But he follows 'round
Like some droopy-eyed pup
He love me so
That sunny honey of mine

He ain't no sheik
That's no great physique
Lord knows, he ain't got the smarts

Oh, but look at that soul
I tell you, the whole
Is a whole lot greater than
The sum of his parts

And if you knew him like me
I know you'd agree
What if the world
Slandered my name?
Why, he'd be right there
Taking the blame

He loves me so
And it all suits me fine
That funny, sunny, honey
Hubby of mine

A man's got a right to protect his home
And his loved ones, right?

Of course, he has

Well, I came in from the garage, Officer, and I see him coming through the window
With my wife Roxanne there, sleepin'...like an angel...

He loves me so
That funny honey of mine

...an angel!

I mean supposin', just supposin', he had violated her or somethin'
You know what I mean...
Violated?

I know what you mean...

...or somethin'. Think how terrible that would have been.
It's a good thing I came home from work on time, I'm tellin' ya that! I say I'm tellin' ya that!

He loves me so
That funny honey of mine

Name of deceased... Fred Casely

Fred Casely. How could he be a burglar?
My wife knows him! He sold us our furniture!

Lord knows he ain't got the smarts

She lied to me. She told me he was a burglar!

You mean he was dead when you got home?

She had him covered with a sheet
And she's givin' me that cock and bull story about this burglar
And I ought to say that I did it 'cause I was sure to get off
Burglar, huh!

Now, he shot off his trap

I can't stand that sap
Look at him go
Rattin' on me
With just one more brain
What a half-wit he'd be

If they string me up
I'll know who
Brought the twine

And I believed her!
That cheap little tramp
So, she was two-timing me, huh?
Well, then, she can just swing for all I care

Boy, I'm down at the garage
Working my butt off fourteen
Hours a day and she's up munchin' on god-damn bon bons and jazzing
This time she pushed me too far
That little chiseler
Boy, what I sap I was!

That scummy, crummy
Dummy hubby of mine!

(feat. Taye Diggs)

And now ladies and gentlemen
the Keeper of the keys,
the Countess of the clink,
the Mistress of Murderers Row,
Matron Mama Morton!

Ask any of the chickies in my pen
They'll tell you I'm the biggest Mutha... Hen
I love them all and all of them love me -
Because the system works;
the system called reciprocity!

Got a little motto
Always sees me through -
When you're good to Mama, Mama's good to you!

There's a lot of favors
I'm prepared to do
You do one for Mama, she'll do one for you!

They say that life is tit for tat
And that's the way I live -
So, I deserve a lot of tat
For what I've got to give!

Don't you know that this hand
washes that one too
When you're good to Mama, Mama's good to you!

If you want my gravy
Pepper my ragu
Spice it up for Mama, she'll get hot for you!

When they pass that basket
Folks conribute to -
You put in for Mama, she'll put out for you!

The folks a top the ladder
are the ones the world adores -
So boost me up my ladder kid
and I'll boost you up yours!

Let's all stroke together
Like the Princeton crew -
When you're strokin' Mama, Mama's strokin' you!

So what's the one conclusion
I can bring this number to?
When you're good to Mama, Mama's good to you!

Pop

Six

Squish

Uh-uh

Cicero

Lipschitz

And now, the six merry murderesses of the Cook County Jail
In their rendition of the Cell Block Tango

Cicero

Lipschitz

Pop

Six

Squish

Uh-uh

Cicero

Lipschitz

Pop, six, squish, uh-uh, Cicero, Lipschitz
Pop, six, squish, uh-uh, Cicero, Lipschitz
Pop, six, squish, uh-uh, Cicero, Lipschitz

He had it comin'
He had it comin'
He only had himself to blame
If you'd have been there
If you'd have seen it

I betcha you would have done the same

Pop, six, squish, uh-uh, Cicero, Lipschitz
Pop, six, squish, uh-uh, Cicero, Lipschitz

(He had it comin')
You know how people have these little habits that get you down?
Like, Bernie
Bernie, he liked to chew gum
No, not chew, pop
So I came home this one day
And I'm really irritated
And I'm looking for a little bit o' sympathy
And there's Bernie, lyin' on the couch, drinkin' a beer and chewin'
No, not chewin'
Poppin'
So, I said to him, I said "You pop that gum one more time"
And he did
So I took the shotgun off the wall
And I fired two warning shots
Into his head

He had it comin'
He had it comin'
He only had himself to blame
If you'd have been there
If you'd have heard it
I betcha you would have done the same

(He had it comin')
I met Ezekiel Young from Salt Lake City about two years ago
And he told me he was single
And we hit it off right away
So, we started living together
He'd go to work, he'd come home
I'd fix him a drink, we'd have dinner
And then I found out
"Single" he told me
Single, my ass
Not only was he married
Oh no, he had six wives
One of those Mormons, you know?
So that night when he came home from work
I fixed him his drink as usual
You know, some guys just can't hold their arsenic

He had it comin' (pop, six, squish, uh-uh, Cicero, Lipschitz)
He had it comin'
He took a flower (pop, six, squish, uh-uh, Cicero, Lipschitz)
In its prime
And then he used it (pop)
And he abused it (six)
It was a murder (squish)
But not a crime
(Uh-uh, Cicero, Lipschitz)

(Pop) now, I'm standing in the kitchen (six)
Carving up a chicken for dinner (uh-uh)
Minding my own business (Cicero)
In storms my husband Wilbur in a jealous rage (Lipschitz)
"You been screwin' the milkman," he says (pop)
He was crazy (six)
And he kept on screamin' (uh-uh)
"You been screwin' the milkman"
And then he ran into my knife
He ran into my knife ten times

If you'd have been there
If you'd have seen it
I betcha you would have done the same!

Mit kersek, en itt?
Azt mondjok, hogy a hires lakóm lefogta a ferjemet
En meg Lecsaptam a fejet
De nem igaz
En artatlan vagyok
Nem tudom
Mert mondja Uncle Sam hogy en tettem
Probaltam
A rendorsegen megmayarazni de nem ertettek meg

Yeah, but did you do it?

Uh-uh, not guilty!

(He had it comin', he had it comin')
My sister, Veronica and I had this double act
And my husband, Charlie traveled round with us (he only had himself to blame)
Now, for the last number in our act (if you'd have been there)
We did these twenty acrobatic tricks in a row
One, two, three, four, five, splits, spread eagles (if you'd have been there)
Back flips, flip flops
One right after the other (if you'd have seen it)
So this one night before the show, we're down at the Hotel Cicero (I betcha)
The three of us, boozin' (you would have done the same)
Havin' a few laughs
And we ran out of ice
So I go out to get some (he had it comin')
I come back, open the door
And there's Veronica and Charlie (he had it comin')
Doing number seventeen (he took a flower)
The spread eagle
Well, I was in such a state of shock
I completely blacked out, I can't remember a thing
It wasn't until later
When I was washing the blood off my hands
I even knew they were dead

They had it comin' (they had it comin')
They had it comin' (they had it comin')
They had it comin' all along (they had it comin' all along)
I didn't do it (she didn't do it)
But if I'd done it (but if she'd done it)
How could you tell me that I was wrong?

They had it comin' (they had it comin')
They had it comin' (they had it comin')
They had it comin' all along (they took a flower in its prime)
I didn't do it (and then they used it)
But if I'd done it
How could you tell me that I was wrong?

(He had it comin') I loved Al Lipschitz
More than I can possibly say (he had it comin')
He was a real artistic guy
Sensitive, a painter
But he was always trying to find himself (he only had himself to blame)
He'd go out every night looking for himself
And on the way
He found Ruth (if you'd have been there)
Gladys
Rosemary and Irving (if you'd have seen it)
I guess you could say we broke up
Because of artistic differences (I betcha you would have done the same)
He saw himself as alive
And I saw him dead

The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum
The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum

They had it comin' (they had it comin')
They had it comin' (they had it comin')
They had it comin' all along (they had it comin' all along)
'Cause if they used us ('cause if they used us)
And they abused us (and they abused us)
How could you tell us that we were wrong?

He had it comin' (he had it comin')
He had it comin' (he had it comin')
He only had himself to blame (he only had himself to blame)
If you'd have been there (if you'd have been there)
If you'd have seen it (if you'd have seen it)
I betcha you would have done the same

You pop that gum one more time! Single my ass
Ten times! Miert csukott Uncle Sam bortonbe
Number seventeen, the spread eagle
Artistic differences

Pop

Six

Squish

Uh-uh

Cicero

Lipschitz

Ladies and Gentlemen
Presenting the silver tounged prince of the courtroom
The one, the only Billy Flinn

We want Billy, where is Billy?
B I double L Y, we're all his
He's our kind of a guy
And ooh what luck 'cause here he is

Is everybody here?
Is everybody ready? Hit it

I don't care about expensive things
Cashmere coats, diamond rings
Don't mean a thing
All I care about is love
That's what I'm here for

I don't care for wearin' silk cravats
Ruby studs, satin spats
Don't mean a thing
All I care about is love
All he cares about is love

Give me two eyes of blue
Softly saying, "I need you"
Let me see her standin' there
And honest, mister, I'm a millionaire

I don't care for any fine attire
Vanderbilt might admire
No, no, not me
All I care about is love
All he cares about is love

It may be sound odd
But all I care about is love
That's what he's here for
Honest to god
All I care about is love

Show me long, long raven hair
Flowin' down, about to there
When I see her runnin' free
Keep your money, that's enough for me

I don't care for drivin' Packard cars
Or smoking long buck cigars
No, no, not me
All I care about is

Doin' the guy in who's pickin on you
Twistin' the wrist that's turnin' the screw
All I care about is love

[REPORTERS]
Where'd you come from?

[BILLY (as Roxie)]
Mississippi

[REPORTERS]
And your parents?

[BILLY (as Roxie)]
Very wealthy.

[REPORTERS]
Where are they now?

[BILLY (as Roxie)]
Six feet under.

[BILLY]
But she was granted one more start

[BILLY (as Roxie)]
The convent of The Sacred Heart!

[REPORTERS]
When'd you get here?

[BILLY (as Roxie)]
1920

[REPORTERS]
How old were you?

[BILLY (as Roxie)]
Don't remember

[REPORTERS]
Then what happened?

[BILLY (as Roxie)]
I met Amos
And he stole my heart away
Convinced me to elope one day

[MARY SUNSHINE (spoken)]
Oh you poor dear I can't believe what you have been through A convent girl! A run-away marriage!
Now tell us roxie...

[MARY SUNSHINE]
Who's Fred Casely?

[BILLY (as Roxie)]
My ex-boyfriend.

[REPORTERS]
Why'd you shoot him?

[BILLY (as Roxie)]
I was leavin'.

[REPORTERS]
Was he angry?

[BILLY (as Roxie)]
Like a madman
Still I said, "Fred, move along."

[BILLY]
She knew that she was doing wrong.

[REPORTERS]
Then describe it.

[BILLY (as Roxie)]
He came toward me.

[REPORTERS]
With the pistol?

[BILLY (as Roxie)]
From my bureau.

[REPORTERS]
Did you fight him?

[BILLY (as Roxie)]
Like a tiger.

[BILLY]
He had strength and she had none.

[BILLY (as Roxie)]
And yet we both reached for the gun
Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes we both
Oh yes we both
Oh yes, we both reached for
The gun, the gun, the gun, the gun
Oh yes, we both reached for the gun
For the gun.

[REPORTERS]
Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes they both
Oh yes, they both
Oh yes, they both reached for
The gun, the gun, the gun, the gun,
Oh yes, they both reached for the gun
For the gun.

[BILLY]
Understandable, understandable
Yes it's perfectly understandable
Comprehensible, Comprehensible
Not a bit reprehensible
It's so defensible

[REPORTERS]
How're you feeling?

[BILLY (as Roxie)]
Very frightened

[REPORTERS]
Are you sorry?

[ROXIE]
Are you kidding?

[REPORTERS]
What's your statement?

[BILLY (as Roxie)]
All I'd say is
Though my choo-choo jumped the track
I'd give my life to bring him back

[REPORTERS]
And?

[BILLY (as Roxie)]
Stay away from...

[REPORTERS]
What?

[BILLY (as Roxie)]
Jazz and liquor...

[REPORTERS]
And?

[BILLY (as Roxie)]
And the men who...

[REPORTERS]
What?

[BILLY (as Roxie)]
Play for fun...

[REPORTERS]
And what?

[BILLY (as Roxie)]
That's the thougt that...

[REPORTERS]
Yeah

[BILLY (as Roxie)]
Came upon me...

[REPORTERS]
When?

[BILLY]
When we both reached for the gun!

[MARY SUNSHINE]
Understandable, understandable

[BILLY AND MARY SUNSHINE]
Yes, it's perfectly understandable
Comprehensible, comprehensible
Not a bit reprehensible
It's so defensible!

[REPORTERS]
Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes, they both
Oh yes, they both
Oh yes, they both reached for

[BILLY (spoken)]
Let me hear it!

[REPORTERS]
The gun, the gun, the gun,
The gun
Oh yes, they both reached
For the gun

[BILLY (spoken)]
A little louder!

[REPORTERS]
For the Gun.
Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes, they both
Oh yes, they both
Oh yes, they both reached
For the gun, the gun,

[BILLY (spoken)]
Now you got it!

[REPORTERS]
The gun,the gun
Oh yes. They both reached
For the gun
For the gun.

[BILLY AND REPORTERS]
Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes, they both
Oh yes, they both
Oh yes, they both reached for
The gun, the gun, the gun,the gun
Oh yes, they both reached for the gun
For the gun.

Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes, they both
Oh yes, they both
Oh yes, reached for
The gun, the gun, the gun,the gun
The gun, the gun, the gun,the gun
The gun, the gun, the gun,the gun

[BILLY]
Both reached for the...gun

[REPORTERS]
The gun, the gun, the gun,the gun
The gun, the gun, the gun,the gun
The gun, the gun, the gun,the gun
The gun, the gun, Both reached for the gun.

[roxie]
(spoken)
once it said in the paper:
'gangland's al capelli seen at chez vito with cute blonde chorine'
that was me.
i clipped it and i saved it.
y'know, all my life i wanted to was have my own act
but no. no, no, no
always no
one big world full of 'no'
then? amos came along
safe, sweet amos
who never says 'no'
lookit.
i've never done this before
but this is such a special night
and you are such a great audience!
and..and i just.. really feel like i can talk to you, y'know?
so, forget what you've read in the papers!
and forget what you've heard on the radio!
because, because... i'm gonna tell you the truth
-not that the truth really matters-
but, i'm gonna tell ya anyways..
in the bed department?
amos was... zero
i mean, when he made love to me, it was, like, he was fixing a carbouretter or sommink
'i love ya honey, i love ya'
anywaays... i started fooling around
then i started screwing around
-which is fooling around without dinner-
then, i met fred casely
wo said he could get me into vaudeville
but, that didn't really work out as i planned
and i guess it didn't work out too great for fred either
so, i gave up on the vaudeville idea
because you figure after all those years
opportunity's just passed you by
(singing)
but it ain't
oh, no, no, no, no
but it ain't
(spoken)
and now?
well, if this flynn guy gets me off
with all this publicity
i'm in a whole word of
yes!

[roxie]
the name on everybody's lips
is gonna be roxie
the lady raking in the chips
is gonna be roxie
I'm gonna be a celebrity
that means
somebody everyone knows
they('re) gonna recognize my eyes
my hair my teeth my boobs my nose
From just some dumb mechanics wife
i'm gonna be roxie
who says that murder's not an art?
And who in case she doesn't hang
can say she started with a bang?
roxie hart!
Boys...
[boys]
they're gonna wait outside in line
to get to see
[roxie]
roxie
think of those autographs
i'll sign,
'good luck to ya,'
[boys]
roxie!
[roxie]
and i'll appear
in a lavalier that goes
all the way down to my waist
[boys]
here a ring,
there a ring,
everywhere a-ring-a-ling
[roxie]
but always in the best of taste!
(spoken)
mmmm, i'm a star!
and the audience loves me!
and i love them
and they love me for loving them
and i love them for loving me
and we love each other
and that's because none of us
got enough love in our childhoods
and that's showbiz
kid
[boys]
she's given up her hum drum life
[roxie]
i'm gonna be sing it
[boys]
roxie
she made a scandal and a start
[roxie]
and sophie tucker will shit
i know
to see her name get billed below
roxie hart
[boys]
roxie...
roxie...
roxie...
roxie...
rox-ie...
roxie...
roxie...

My sister and I had an act that couldn't flop
My sister and I were headed straight fo the top
My sister and I earned a thou a week at least
Oh, sure!
But my sister is now, unfortunately, deceased

Oh, I know it's sad, of course
But a fact is still a fact
And now all that remains
Is the remains
Of a perfect double act!

Roxie, do you know you are exactly the same
Size as my sister? oh, you would fit in her wardrobe
Perfectly. look, why don't I just show you some of
The act, huh? watch this.

Now you have to imagine
This with two people.
It's swell with two people.

First I'd (Drums!)
Then she'd (Saxophone!)
Then we'd (Together!)
But I can't do it alone!
Then she'd
Then I'd
Then we
But I can't do it alone!

She'd say,"what's your sister like? "
I'd say, "men,"
Yuk, yuk, yuk
She'd say, "you're the cat's meow"
Then we'd wow the crowd again
When she'd go
I'd go
We'd go

And then those ding-dong daddies started to roar
Whistled, stomped and stamped on the floor
Yelling, sreaming, begging for more.

And we'd say, "o.k. fellas, keep your socks up.
You ain't seen nothin' yet!"

But I simply cannot do it alone!

Well? what did ya' think? come on, you can say.

O.k., o.k. the first part can always be rewritten.
But the second part was really nifty. watch this.

Then she'd (See, get it, right?)
Then I'd (Then I'd kick really high)
Then we'd,
But I can't do it alone!
She'd say, "what state's chicago in?"
I'd say, "ill!"
Did ya' get that?
She'd say, "turn your motor off"
I can hear 'em cheerin' still
When she'd go,
I'd go,
We'd go (Sideways!)
And then those two-bit johnnies did it up brown
To cheer the best attraction in town
They nearly tore the balcony down

And we'd say. "o.k. fellas, o.k.,
We're goin' home, but here's a few more partin' shots!"
And this, this we did in perfect unison.

Now, you've seen me goin' through it
It may seem there's nothin' to it
But I simply cannot do it
Alone!

Like the deserted bride on her wedding night
All alone and shaking with fright
With her brand new hubby nowhere in sight
I simply cannot do it alone

If someone stood up in a crowd
And raised his voice up way out loud
And waved his arm and shook his leg
You'd notice him

If someone in the movie show
Yelled, "Fire in the second row
This whole place is a powder keg"
You'd notice him

And even without clucking like a hen
Everyone gets noticed, now and then
Unless, of course, that person it should be
Invisible, inconsequential me

Cellophane, Mister Cellophane
Should have been my name, Mister Cellophane
'Cause you can look right through me
Walk right by me and never know I'm there

I tell ya, Cellophane, Mister Cellophane
Should have been my name Mister Cellophane
'Cause you can look right through me
Walk right by me and never know I'm there

Suppose you was a little cat
Residin' in a person's flat
Who fed you fish and scratched your ears?
You'd notice him

Suppose you was a woman wed
And sleepin' in a double bed
Beside one man for seven years
You'd notice him

A human being's made of more than air
With all that bulk, you're bound to see him there
Unless that human being next to you
Is unimpressive, undistinguished, you know who

Should have been my name, Mister Cellophane
'Cause you can look right through me
Walk right by me and never know I'm there

I tell ya Cellophane, Mister Cellophane
Should have been my name, Mister Cellophane
'Cause you can look right through me
Walk right by me and never know I'm there
Never even know I'm there

I hope, I haven't taken too much of your time

BILLY
Give 'em the old razzle dazzle
Razzle Dazzle 'em
Give 'em an act with lots of flash in it
And the reaction will be passionate
Give 'em the old hocus pocus
Bead and feather 'em
How can they see with sequins in their eyes?

What if your hinges all are rusting?
What if, in fact, you're just disgusting?

Razzle dazzle 'em
And they;ll never catch wise!

Give 'em the old

BILLY AND COMPANY
Razzle dazzle 'em
Give 'em a show that's so splendiferous

BILLY
Row after row will crow vociferous

BILLY AND COMPANY
Give 'em the old flim flam flummox
Fool and fracture 'em

BILLY
How can they hear the truth above the roar?

BILLY AND COMPANY
Throw 'em a fake and a finagle
They'll never know you're just a bagel,

BILLY
Razzle dazzle 'em
And they'll beg you for more!

BILLY AND COMPANY
Give 'em the old razzle dazzle
Razzle Dazzle 'em
Back since the days of old Methuselah
Everyone loves the big bambooz-a-ler

Give 'em the old three ring circus
Stun and stagger 'em
When you're in trouble, go into your dance

Though you are stiffer than a girder
They let you get away with murder
Razzle dazzle 'em
And you've got a romance

Give 'em the old
Razzle Dazzle

BILLY
Razzle dazzle 'em
Give 'em an act that's unassailable
They'll wait a year 'till you're available!

BILLY AND COMPANY
Give 'em the old
Double whammy

BILLY
Daze and dizzy'em
Show 'em the first rate sorcerer you are

BILLY AND COMPANY
Long as you keep 'em way off balance
How can they spot you got no talents?

BILLY
Razzle dazzle 'em

COMPANY
Razzle dazzle 'em

BILLY
Razzle dazzle 'em

BILLY AND COMPANY
And they'll make you a star!

Whatever happened to fair dealing?
And pure ethics
And nice manners?
Why is it everyone now so a pain in the ass?
Whatever happened to class?

Class
Whatever happened to, "Please, may I?"
And, "Yes, thank you?"
And, "How charming?"
Now, every son of a bitch is a snake in the grass
Whatever happened to class?

Class!
Ah, there ain't no gentlemen
To open up the doors
There ain't no ladies now,
There's only pigs and whores
And even kids'll knock ya down
So's they can pass
Nobody's got no class!

Whatever happened to old values?

And fine morals?

And good breeding?

Now, no one even says "oops" when they're
Passing their gas
Whatever happened to class?

Class

Ah, there ain't no gentlemen
That's fit for any use
And any girl'd touch your privates
For a deuce

And even kids'll kick your shins and give you sass

And even kids'll kick your shins and give you sass

Nobody's got no class!

All you read about today is rape and theft

Jesus Christ, ain't there no decency left?

Nobody's got no class!

Every guy is a snot!

Every girl is a twat!

Holy shit

Holy shit

What a shame

What a shame

What became of class?

It's good
Isn't it grand? Isn't it great?
Isn't it swell? Isn't it fun?
Isn't it? Nowadays

There's men
Everywhere jazz, everywhere booze
Everywhere life, everywhere joy
Everywhere, nowadays

You can like the life you're livin'
You can live the life you like
You can even marry Harry
But mess around with Ike
And that's good

Isn't it grand? Isn't it great?
Isn't it swell? Isn't it fun?

Ladies and gentlemen, the Vickers theater
Chicago's finest finest home of family entertainment
Is proud to announce a first
The first time, anywhere there has been an act of this nature
Not only one little lady but two!
You've read about them in the papers
And now here they are a double header!
Chicago's own killer, drillers those two scintillating sinners
Roxie Hart and Velma Kelly

You can like the life you're livin'
You can live the life you like
You can even marry Harry
But mess around with Ike
And that's good

Isn't it grand? Isn't it great?
Isn't it swell? Isn't it fun?
Isn't it?

But nothing stays in fifty years or so
It's gonna change, you know
But oh, it's heaven
Nowadays

Ladies and Gentlemen, the Chicago Theater is proud to announce a first.
The first time, anywhere there's been an act of this nature.
Not only one little lady, but two!
You've read about them in the papers and now here they are!
Chicago's own killer dillers
Those scintillating sinners
Roxie Hart and Velma Kelly!

Roxie and Velma:
You can like the life you're living
You can live the life you like
You can even marry Harry
But mess around with Ike
And that's
Good, isn't it?
Grand, isn't it?
Great, isn't it?
Swell, isn't it?
Fun, isn't it?
But nothing stays

In fifty years or so
It's gonna change, you know
But, oh, it's heaven
Nowadays

ANNOUNCER
Okay, you babes of jazz. Let's pick up the pace.
Let's make the parties longer.
Let's make the skirts shorter.
Let's all go to hell in a fast car and KEEP IT HOT!

Roxie and Velma:
And all that Jazz!

[VELMA]
While truckin' down the road of life
Although all hope seems gone
I just move on

[ROXIE]
When I can't find a single star
To hang my wish upon
I just move on
I mooooove on

[VELMA]
I run so fast
A shot gun blast
Can't hurt me not one bit

[ROXIE]
I'm on my toes
'cause heaven knows
A moving target's hard to hit

[VELMA&ROXIE]
So as we play
In life's ballet
We're not the dying swan
We just move on
We mooooove on

[ROXIE]
Just when it seems
We're out of dreams
And things have got us down
[VELMA]
We don't despair
We don't go there
We hang our bonnets out of town

[VELMA&ROXIE]
So there's no doubt
We're well cut out
To run life's marathon
We just move on
We just move on

So fleet of foot
We can'ts stay put
We just move on
Yes we move on!

[Instrumental]

[Instrumental]

[Queen Latifah]
Dana Owens aka Queen Latifah, yes I'm here to testify
No, I gotta speak on my behalf, you don't even know what happened
Can I just tell you what happened?

[Macy] (Latifah)
He had it comin' (He had it comin')
He only had himself to blame
If you'd a been there, if you'd a seen it
I think that you would have done the same

[Queen Latifah] (Macy)
I mean imagine, why was he hittin' his woman?
Why was she takin' that?
Now picture her fightin' back, picture the ass kickin'
Think of his ass flippin' down the stairs
And me at the top smilin', he shoulda stopped wildin'
Now could you picture me tryin' to finish him off?
See why I pictured me on this side of the law
High heels leave holes, you'd a thought I was gunnin'
Now the cops comin', I ain't runnin'
(He had it comin')
Girl you shoulda seen it, shoulda bobbed and weaved
Before the cops came, got a coupla clean hits
In word the ??? couldn't take the abuse
But I couldn't explain that to the state troops
But you know girl, yeah you go girl
Plus I look real cute in orange jump suits
This the story I'm tellin' and I ain't changin' nothin'
I just needed you to know Your Honour

[Chorus] - 2X

[Lil' Kim] (Macy)
Aiight aiight, let's get this over with
Take the mug shot, hurry up the fingerprints
What the blood clot?
Lil' Kim aka Sofia Luchiani
Keep your jump suit, I'm rockin' Armani
Yeah, I bust at him once, but that was just a warnin'
My lawyer will be here with bail money in the mornin'
I'm not guilty, just tryin' to protect mine
It ain't my fault he ran into my knife 20 times (He had it comin')
Just my luck the bastard ain't die
What you woulda did if every other day he blacked ya eye?
Broke ya nose 'til it started bleedin'
Kicked you in ya ribs, chocked you 'til you stopped breathing
(F*ck) that, I'm sick of bobbing and weaving
Threatenin' to kill me when I threaten to leave him
I do a bid, 'cause ain't no way
(Nigga) gonna do me like Ike and OJ

[Chorus] - 2X

[Queen Latifah]
This is for the constantly accused, mentally abused
How many of you been in my shoes before, aiight
Or have you felt you caught the worse case
Puttin' up wit his tired ass in the first place
Why am I flippin'? I just bought them condoms
I ain't used not one but there was two missin'
Get a new mission, how to catch a cheater
If he only use coach, you shouldn't smell ???
If you know he don't smoke, you shouldn't smell reefer
If you catch him cheatin' you shouldn't yell either
Run up on him quietly, took him out silently
It might sound cruel, but you gotta love the irony
So explain that, just came back off a trip
And I come home to this, please
He ain't followed the guidelines
So forgive me Your Honour, he ran into my knife five times

[Chorus] - 3X

Oooh Yeah
Chicago

If love is a crime baby
I'd do my time
Whether it's wrong or right
You can sentence me to life
If love is a crime baby
I'd do my time
Whether it's wrong or right
You can sentence me
Sentence me to life

Some might say I'm guilty of love in the first degree
If the jury wants to lock me up and throw away the key
There's no greater punishment than what I face inside
Won't tamper with the evidence cause there's nothing to hide

(He lives inside my heart)
(I'm in the middle too)
I'm in the middle too
(You never had a clue)
Unless you felt it too

(If love is a crime) baby
I'd do my time
(Whether it's wrong or right)
(You can) sentence me
Sentence me to life
(If love is a crime) baby
I'd do my time
(Whether it's wrong or right)
You can sentence me
Sentence me to life

Better tell the truth, just let me plead my case
The thief who stole my heart from me I couldn't let escape
He's my only alibi, but I won't drop a dime
So how can I give up to you, my partner in crime

(He lives inside) my heart
(I'm in the middle too)
Ooh yeah yeah
(You never had a clue)
Unless you felt it too

(If love is a crime) baby
I'd do my time
Whether it's wrong or right
You can sentence me
Sentence me to life
(If love is a crime) baby
I'd do my time
Whether it's wrong or right
You can sentence me
(Sentence me to life)

You can take away my freedom
But you can't take my love from me
I won't die a lonely prisoner
'Cause my heart will set me free
Oooh ooh yeah
Whooh!
Chicago

I said now
(If) love is a crime baby
I'd do my time
(Whether it's wrong or right)
Ooh
(You can) sentence me
Sentence me to life
(If love is a crime baby)
I'd do my time
(Whether it's wrong or right)
You can (sentence me)
Ah c'mon!
(Sentence me to life)

I said love, love oh!
(If love is a crime baby)
(I'd do my time)
(Whether) it's wrong or right
(You can sentence me to life)
Ooh said love is a crime oh
(If love is a crime baby)
Ooh yeah
(I'd do my time)
(Whether it's wrong or right)
You can sentence me
Sentence me (to life)

I said love is a crime