3AM - Condemned Lyrics

I've let this play out, I'm use to alone
Scrolling our messages saved in my phone
Where were you at when i needed you most
You left me to vices, you filled me with hope and then you went ghost
F*ck
I would sit on my porch
Watching it snow
I was lost in my mind
I waited for hope
Nobody answered
No one was home
I cant help but hate this hell that I'm in
For being depressed I'm feeling condemned
And through the next night I'd be at it again
Asking myself, why don't I have friends
I'd be at it again
Drinkin to spin
And we can pretend
It won't happen again
I've thrown in the towel
I'm callin it quits
I'm losing this battle that's raging within
Every night I was nothing but numb
Chasin the pain, I was lost in the rum
Forever I'm askin am I enough
Words that are burning the tip of my tongue
Lingering smoke, it blackens my lungs
A constant debate to load up that gun
Sick of just breathin, I'm callin it done
I needed a reason, I couldn't find one
I know it's our nature to constantly judge
I wont question why, I wont hold that grudge
Dead on my feet while I'm searching for love
Been fillin the void with addiction and lust
Stretched at my seams, I'm feeling em bust
I can't let it go, I'm losing my trust
Now it makes sense why people do drugs
Now here we are, we're back at the start
Your soft spoken words are touching my heart
The second you leave, I'm left in the dark
This is the reason I'm falling apart
One minute I'm numb then I'm fallin to pieces
Look in the mirror, you know you're the reason
The heartbreak it shatters, and time, it just freezes
Time passes by one more season deceases
Gotta keep movin to find a new meaning
Follow my heart, but not sure its beating
Feels like I'm trapped, I'm stuck with these demons
I'm questionin what I should even believe in
It's up in the air when I can't find a reason
Keep pushing through, restricting my breathin
Thoughts in my mind, maliciously speakin
F*ck what I'm dealt, I'm feelin so cheated
I'm feelin so cheated, I'm feelin so damaged
I opened my heart and you took full advantage
Up until now, I'm alone, and I've managed
I don't really care what you think a good plan is
I'm so sick of hearing how hard that you tried
Because of your lies, I'm broken inside
It was every night
We would just fight
The bruising of egos beneath the moonlight
As time moves along, I'm still reading our texts
Saving our photos as me and an ex
It's taken some time for these dots to connect
All I can say is that I did my best