Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Bagpipes Lyrics

I am a piper
Proud to be a Scot
And if you hate the pipes
You're obviously not
A smart-minded man
You must be quite lame
But with me pipes
I'm sure I can tame
The idiot in you
It's not that hard
I'll break a bottle
And shove a few shards
Up yer arse
And then you'll yell
To the sweet music of the bagpipes
And then you'll go to hell