Action Bronson - Mr. Wonderful Album Lyrics

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Brand New Car

I got a brand new car
I got a jazz guitar

Welcome, everybody

Thank you a lot for coming, it means a lot to me
Steer the yacht with my knee, plenty of botany
Damn, bad chick on top of me, pornography
And I know she only want me for my guap-ery
(Ahem... let me get my voice right
Gary, sorry, 1, 2, 3, 4)
It's the first time ever
Yo f*ck this jacket, I turn this shit to 85 napkins
Since Jeter's done I'm now the captain
Trust you me, Gotham's safer now
But there's always a new joker in town
Ready to smoke you with that pound
But when he shoots it, the flag says "BANG!" and everybody laughs
He must be up and off the molly tab
I'm by the bar lookin' Swedish in the trenchcoat stupid
The only one drinkin' mango lassi in the bullpen
My lips are sealed like the singer with bad skin
My need for speed made the Jag spin
Dog, I'll resurrect Freaky Tah to do my ad-libs
Overseas I prolly got mad kids
That I don't even know about, you better slow down, baby
I'm still young, f*ck it, gotta use it while it works
Nothin' lasts forever, or does it? F*ck it
Shout out to my cousins, all of 'em

I got a brand new car
I got a jazz guitar

I'll take it back to playin' handball and smokin' on the park benches
Dippin' cabs and hoppin' fences
Laughin' all the way back to the buildin' runnin'
Got to the door, twist the key, elevator waitin' for me
100, got upstairs and fixed eleven bowls of Crispix
Grabbed a Snapple out the bin, no one's an even match for the kid
Legs are made of stone, the back of a bridge
In goal line situations I'll tackle The Fridge
Peace to Mike Ditka, 50 on the light fixture
Right side shifter, fight fixer, twist your sister
And I ain't talkin' 'bout the hair band, mothaf*cka
It's Bam Bam doin' ah ah ah ah

Out with the, ah!
I can't even get this f*ckin' right, are you kidding me?
I'm ashamed of myself, I'm sorry

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The Rising

[Intro - Action Bronson:]
Fly Mary in to sing to that cow before we slaughtered it
And then I ordered it

[Hook - Action Bronson:]
Don't say a word to me
You already committed perjury
A bunch of lies and sneaks and I don't play that
You know better, you better save that

[Verse 1 - Action Bronson:]
Laid by the pool, my legs gettin' massaged by your professional
Strictly business, nothin' sexual
Seasonal vegetables lookin' exceptional
You ain't think I was hot then, now you wanna hum on my testicles
I'm from a dirty borough where that Sun don't come out
But when the moon come and the goons come, the crew runs
Like a big Jamaican, I stand adjacent
To that S600 in amazement
My time gon' come, I'm headed to the top
Like I never wore makeup, and I'm ready for the spotlight
You know I got my hoodie on, and it's such a hot night
Shit I'm straight from Queens, catch me in the limo like it's prom night

[Hook - Action Bronson]

[Verse 2 - Action Bronson:]
This that do a hundred in the rental in the rain
With the jammy, a day before I have to go to Spain
Livin' on the edge, different colored women in my bed
Different, different colored linens on my leg
My mother said I better win or else she'll f*ck me up
Ma we did it, I love you, you lucky slut
Since I was young I had the husky gut
But I'm gorgeous, got money in the pouch just like a tourist
Swerve in a Skylark, big piece of the pie chart
Bitch this is fine art, I gets my shine on
You lyin', dog, you never even put the iron on
You drive a Scion, you ain't ridin', dog
Me, I'm cell built, grab your chest
Still get hit with right hands from left field
My life is a kaleidoscope
She makes me feel just like I'm high on dope
I never calm down, shoot the gun without puttin' my son down

[Hook]

[Big Body Bes:]
You should have been known who the f*ck this was, just by my f*ckin' tongue. Big f*ckin' Body Bes. You know I'm all over everything now. You know me, you might see my face stamped on a bag of dope, out here gettin' filthy cause you know I got that ooh woo woo. You know me, I go home and change up. I get fresh to fight. Just caught a new f*ckin' case. But it's alright though, I got this stupid mothaf*ckin' lawyer. He told me, "Don't even worry about that shit, Body. I'll make that go away. Now what's for lunch?" I told him, don't worry, I got the hookup. Anything you want. Crown Fried on me, 1 through 6 only. I know your type though, the type of mothaf*cka wear a three piece suit to go to court, shook to death and you there for smokin' weed. Piece of shit, get the f*ck outta here

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Terry

Don't hurt me again
Uh, don't hurt me again
Don't hurt me again
Don't hurt me again
Don't hurt me again, baby
Nah

What up, love? I need a hug cause drugs be takin' over
Shorty couldn't take it no more, she went loca
No stranger to a rum and soda
I met the ho while she was slumped over
Shit, I've been good, though, I can't complain
I could probably cop a half a plane
Drinking juice just like Jack LaLanne now
I'mma strike it rich any day now
Uh, you know I gotta get a plate now
Virtuoso on a keyboard
I rep the eastern seaboard, jeez Lord
Please leave the Z3 keys before you leave
Don't sneeze on my shit, cause for shiz I'mma flip ya
Pedicured foot slide in the slipper
Tryna do the remix with Pitbull
Tell the pilot land at Schiphol
Play the violin with dimples
Life's ironic and it's simple
Smoke good, f*ck, eat, drink
Drive nice car, wear all green mink
First time I whacked off was a Penthouse
Roses in the bath at the penthouse
Billy Joel at the garden
Should I get a skybox or an '89 iroc?
It's always poppin' at the iHop
Choke a pussy with his tie knot, it's my block
Chuck Knoblauch, spicey coconut curry from the Thai spot
I'm in a hurry, dumb jewelry
The verdict read from a hung jury
The doctor said that I was hung early
Skull curly, Larry, and Moe, I'll marry a ho
Only if the bitch look like Mari' Monroe
Twisted off the Jenkem, watching Iron Chef
The secret ingredient was lion's neck
Royal Blue-Cyber Tech
I ride solo like a fighter jet
Hurt me again

No, don't hurt me again
Please, don't hurt me again
No, don't hurt me again
There's no hit records on a demo
There's no hit records on a demo
No, don't hurt me again
There's no hit records on a demo
There's no hit records on a demo
Catch me hoppin' out the limo
Catch me hoppin' out the limo

Smoke good, f*ck, eat, drink
Drive nice car, wear all green mink
Uh, what you payin'?
Smoke good, f*ck, eat, drink
Drive nice car, wear all green mink
Smoke good, f*ck, eat, drink
Drive nice car, wear all green mink
What you think

---

Actin Crazy

Uh, opportunity be knocking
Let a motherf*cker in

Opportunity be knocking, you gotta let a motherf*cker in
I kiss my mother on the cheek, tell her that I love her
You ain't gotta worry 'bout a thing, I got it covered
Why you think I'm out here actin' crazy?
Why you think I'm out here actin' crazy?
Why you think I'm out here actin' crazy?
Ma, you know I'm still your little baby

All my life I was a f*ck-up, Now I pull the truck up
Same bitch stuck up, now she wanna suck us
See me hanging out the window screaming "What, what!?"
No more tough luck; a different cloth is what
I'm cut from, baby oh my lord
The cops chasing Bronson in an all-white Ford
Shit, I'm on an all-night tour
Bitch, I'm alright, but I'm off that raw
I'm in a robe dancing salsa on the top floor
You would swear I'm Puerto Rican but I'm not, lord
Hot hoes every city that we go, singing
"Heads high, kill 'em with it now!"
All I do is eat oysters
And speak six languages in three voices
It's Adriatic Summers on the samples
Don't even try to call him, not available for nothing
Unless it's stupid paper, hop out the Studebaker
With Anita Baker, uh

Uh, I feel so alive I think I shit myself
I should kiss myself, I'm staring at the man inside the mirror
The reflection shows a wolf though
Goddamn, I'm still cute ho
All my women play the flute, saw me place a melon and prosciutt'
Left handed, make the Fender cry
Count money with a reverend's smile, the Devil's eye
Half-Cherokee and Gemini, uh
Motherf*ckers are Dumb Pete from Jump Street
I'll turn your chest plate to lunch meat
I'm in a Humvee, looking like a young me
Now these motherf*ckers all wanna be chubby
I switch the season, now the hair's curled
Tan skin, I need a bad girl
Cause James Brown said "It's a man's world"
In a Transam' Twirl, the burner handle made of pearl
That's just "Daddy's Little Girl"

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Falconry

Yo pass me the ball fool
You better f*ckin' pick me, ya
Straight the f*ck up, I roof this shit
F*ckin' 360 on this pussy
I don't give a f*ck
I'll kick this motherf*cking ball over the fence
No shoes on

[Verse 1 - Action Bronson:]
I know you see me on the TV, lookin' like a hunk of beef
When I smile your baby mama shit her dungarees
Somebody get the kid a deal he sound like me
But nah, dunny don't get down like me
The falcon flies back to the glove when I whistle
Don't try to put me in the box like a tissue
Cause I push you in the box with a pink suit
F*ck around and have some squid ink soup, bitch
(Ah man there's so much f*ckin' hash in this joint right now son)
Uh, you ain't a legend like Yanni
I'm so Queens like a Roy Wilkins T-shirt
With one arm shredded, and one arm missing
Dog, I was born with Allah's vision
I learned quick I couldn't follow suit
Cause the Devil put the pork inside the dollar soup
Now I'm sittin' in first class with a hard dick
Listenin' to German guitar riffs, what a life
I was made like the beginning of Jurassic Park
When they took the f*cking blood from the mosquito with a dope needle
Then they shot it in a wild lion, 1983
I popped out holdin' an iron with a visor on
Yeah, uh huh
Yo, the videos are like a Jewish summer camp promo
Your ideas lack Adobo

[Verse 2 - Meyhem Lauren:]
Yo, silk cinder blocks, cinnamon socks
On the low like a whip without shocks
I bag bitches in flocks
Representative for everything official
Ya'll niggas can't live, so it's officially an issue
Waterproof penmanship, padded on a rugby
Hammer in the hamper 'case a nigga try to thug me
I'm a idol, my wave is tidal, forget survival
Treat the last record I broke just like a rival
Uh, I'm New York before it turned into a bike lane
Never had a light fame, split the pipe cane
It was written but I wrote it
Put religion right on my neck and then I froze it
Laurenovitch, yeah

[Big Body Bes:]
3:36 in the morning
Location: a drug infested area, Brooklyn, New York
What am I doing? Standing on an unidentified corner
With a Latin individual, corn rows, foamposites;
All sorts of a felony in his waist
But who are you? She only loves me when I'm naked

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Thug Love Story 2017 The Musical (Interlude)

[Action Bronson:] Who was that one you were telling me about the other evening, you were singin' about the sister in the street gang
[Guy:] Uh you're talkin' about... damn... say some words that I... I got so much shit
[Action Bronson:] ...in the street life...

[Guy:]
I'm lookin' for this lady
She's special to me
So if by chance you see her
Won't you hit me on the hip, will you please?
I went to Red Cross and I went to the station
I looked up missing persons
And I found out that she wasn't there
Did she find, did she find
Did she find someone new?
Is it true?
Did she find, did she find
Did she find someone new?
I hope it's not true
My sister came over with no smile on her face
She said, "You better sit down"
It's gonna hurt, what she has to say
"That lady's not yours, she belongs to the streets
Where gangsters and hustlers
Where they meet on 125C
She can never be yours, a housewife, you see
She belongs to the ghetto, my friend
She doesn't belong to you or me
Did she find, did she find?"

[Guy:] See you could go two ways, it could be about drugs or it could be about a woman

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City Boy Blues

[Verse 1 - Action Bronson (Chauncey Sherod):]
On this dark old road, tryna find my way
I'm sick and I'm tired of games people play
(Singing I'm tired of games people play)
No 808, I'm barely standing
That ain't for dealing, that girl in your hand (girl in your hand)
Now I got no soul, it was taken a long time ago
(It was taken a long time ago)
I've given my life to a stranger, that sleeps by my side at night
Look in her eyes, I see danger, and man is this shinning bright

[Bridge - Action Bronson:]
She won't think twice, to hurt me
She won't think twice, to hurt me
She won't think twice
She won't think twice

[Hook - Action Bronson:]
She only wants money my money
She only wants money my money
She only wants money from me, love from somebody else
She only wants money from me, love from somebody else

[Reprise - Action Bronson (Chauncey Sherod):]
On this dark old road, tryna find my way
I'm singing, I'm tired of games people play
(Singing I'm tired of games people play)
No 808, I'm barely standing
That ain't for dealing that girl in your hand (girl in your hand)
Now I got no soul, it was taken a long time ago
(It was taken a long time ago)
I've given my life to a stranger, that sleeps by my side at night
Look in her eyes, I see danger, and man is this shinning bright

[Bridge - Action Bronson:]
She won't think twice, to hurt me
She won't think twice, to hurt me
She won't think twice
She won't think twice

[Hook - Action Bronson:]
She only wants money my money
She only wants money my money
She only wants money from me, love from somebody else
She only wants money from me, love from somebody else

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A Light In The Addict

[Action Bronson:]
Sittin' first class, feelin' like shit though
Starin' out the window with the mind of a schizo
Thinkin' if I jump, will I feel it when I hit the ground?
F*ck that, I want the crown off anybody head
I wouldn't care if everybody's dead
It's why I keep the pump shotty layin' in the bed
Have a f*ckin' sleepover with my weapons
My Rambo knife is eatin' nuggets with my Smith & Wesson
Shit, I made this out of nothin'
Damn, these ladies love me out in London
Laurenivici served the granulated onion
My mind is locked in a contaminated dungeon
Dog, what the f*ck is with your mother?
She got one leg longer than the other
One eye through the shutter
Made the transition from weed to butter, like spring to summer

[Action Bronson & Black Atlass:]
I nearly lost my mind
All a motherf*cker got is time, time, time
Time, time
I nearly lost my brain
Dealin' with this motherf*ckin' pain, so bad
So bad, I'm so glad

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Baby Blue

[Hook - Action Bronson:]
Why you always all on my back?
Why you gotta do me like that?
Why you gotta act like a bitch when I'm with you?
Baby girl I'm blue

[Verse 1 - Action Bronson:]
Because you treat me like shit
I paid for the bed and never even slept in it
I paid for that crib and never stepped foot in
And now somebody else is eating all the pudding
Things change now my dashboard wooden
All black Benz like a young Doc Gooden
Thug shades cause I'm stone crazy
Girl, we grown, stop playing on my phone, baby
All your childish attempts to make me angry fall short
Which only fuels the rage you have, because you have nothing
Understandable, I'm shining brilliant with 5 Brazilians
There were times I used to hide my feelings
Now I'm butt naked in the Lamborghini
And motherf*ckers can't see me
Wait 'till the chick see me on TV, I make the shit look easy
Who would've thought I hit you right back?

[Hook - Action Bronson:]
Why you always all on my back?
Why you gotta do me like that?
Why you gotta act like a bitch when I'm with you?
Baby girl I'm blue

[Verse 2 - Action Bronson:]
So many women wanna call me, baby
And you wonder why the f*ck that I ain't call you lately
Some would say that I'm the symbol for sex and uh
Others would hate, but I don't give em no breath
Go on a date, I'm at the crib with the chef and uh, that's me
And you could order whatever
The specialty is white snake and underwear sauce
You could probably catch me somewhere where the sun is next
And I understand that's only cause I'm popular
I'm getting topped off in the front row of the opera
As Bocelli sings the celly rings
I gotta go you'll never know how good it feels to lay in bed with king
I'm not exactly flawless, but I'm gorgeous just like a horse is
I know the thought of me succeeding makes a lot of people nauseous
Still I'm on the back of the boat taking pictures with the swordfish

[Hook - Action Bronson:]
Why you always all on my back?
Why you gotta do me like that?
Why you gotta act like a bitch when I'm with you?
Baby girl I'm blue

[Verse 3 - Chance The Rapper:]
I hope you get a paper cut on your tongue
From a razor in a paper cup
I hope every soda you drink already shaken up
I hope your dreams dry like raisins in the baking sun
I hope your titties all saggy in your early 20's
I hope there's always snow in your driveway
I hope you never get off Fridays
And you work at Friday's that's always busy on Fridays
I hope you win the lottery and lose your ticket
I hope it's Ben and Socrates poop all up in your kitchen
I hope the zipper on your jacket get stuck
And your headphones short, and your charger don't work
And you spill shit on your shirt
I hope your tears don't hurt, and I can smile in your face
Cut my losses, how Delilah changed my locks to fade
I hope you happy, I hope you happy
I hope you ruined this shit for a reason, I hope you happy, igh

[Hook - Action Bronson:]
Why you always all on my back?
Why you gotta do me like that?
Why you gotta act like a bitch when I'm with you?
Baby girl I'm blue

[Outro - Chance The Rapper:]
La La La La

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Only In America

I'm focused, man, I swear I'm focused. These mothaf*ckas don't know, I'm the mothaf*ckin' golden child. Uh huh

[Verse 1 - Action Bronson:]
Anywhere I go, you know you're goin' with me
Bobby and Whitney without the sniffin'
Dog your bitch look like Eddie Griffin
I'm three wheelin', keep the Chevy tippin'
Big bearded Buddha bangin' bitches in Bermuda
Barry Bonds, barracuda, Chattanooga
Back alley shooter, black Balley booter
Catch me jumpin' out the plane like a black puma
Stoned, pump Depeche Mode
Man all I see is red snow
Left my man with a headstone on Edgecombe
He was goin' for the glory and the end zone
Just another sob story cause the pen's cold
Am I gonna sell my soul? That depends, ho
Man the vehicle's a rental, speak gentle
Mink sweatsuit
Stab your father while he's pissin' in the men's room

[Hook - Party Supplies:]
Only in America
Just can't seem to get you off of my mind
Only in America
All that seems we're goin' nowhere
Only in America
And I just can't seem to get you off my mind
The best things in life are free
All that seems we're goin' nowhere
All that seems we're goin' nowhere
All that seems we're goin' nowhere
Goin' nowhere, nowhere

[Verse 2 - Action Bronson:]
NYC what the f*ck is goin' on?
These mothaf*ckas won't play my song
They sayin' that we soft, they sayin' that we fell off
They sayin' that these other f*ckers better than us, you gotta be kiddin'
A bunch of pussies, when you piss, you gotta be sittin'
You tie your hair in a bun and shirt in a knot
You got the urge to suck the cock of Serge Ibaka
Pictures of naked rappers hangin' in your locker
You and your father never played catch, he taught you how to twerk
Since I've been on the Earth I've been lightin' up
And I've been all around the world twistin' dykes and purp
Shit, light the earth

[Hook]

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Galactic Love

Do me a favor, with that, light the candle. Is that the Hawaiian Rayman?
Aight I get the same one every single time, I don't understand this

At the piano with a glass of pino
All red silk like I'm nino
Custom made shit, I weight 140 kilos
Sneeze on 100G's, hoes on their knees blow from Montego
The way my hair look you swear my name was Rodrigo
Lay low, if you can't do it then just say no
If you ain't built to play this game then you get halo'd
I put a lot of fiends in k-holes

Hello
Hi
What's up mama?
I just watched *boing* perform
How do you feel about it?
They ain't you baby hahaha, you're better than all these shit heads

I'm just a bastard with a bad habit
Bad back in a black Volkswagen Rabbit
Shit I gotta have it
Black magic woman put a spell on me
F*ck around and win a spelling bee
I could walk under ladders, still won the lotto
Ten minutes flat, built a boat in a bottle
Roy Rodgers baffle, sniffin' coke with a model
Told her to Google me, shit I might paint the Cougar green
All this lechuga in my jeans
I still see Freddy Kruger in my dreams
Ain't nothin' moving but the cream
Shit, know I do it for team

I just wanna hear em announce your name, that's all I care about
How's your knee?
My knee is... It's not bad these past few days
You been alright?

That's all I care about
Took a meeting up at Paramount
Typecast as a romantic lead
I'm classically trained for drug dealing
But I wasn't good at drug dealing
So I flipped shit, rug, ceiling
Dry water, five daughters all stood 5'4"
Or got 5 quarters for the store


F*ck knows what I'm saying anymore mane, my mind is shot, been working so motherf*ckin' hard.
So I'm bout to light this motherf*ckin' dab up. Til the next time, peace

---

The Passage

Oh Mr. Wonderful
Oh Mr. Wonderful
Oh Mr. Wonderful
Oh Mr. Wonderful

---

Easy Rider

[Verse 1:]
Praise the lord, I was born to drive boat
Feeling like Slash in front of the chapel
I'm leaned back with the Les Paul
Shit I smoke is like cholesterol
Spilled dressin' on the vest at the festival
The best of all, had a midget Puerto Rican at my beck and call
Best believe that there was neck involved
F*cked around and almost wrecked the Saab
Uh, we took acid for ten days straight up in the mountains
Started running with the stallions
Playing frisbee in the West Indies
Did the tango with my kidneys
Eyes open, now I know just who my kids need
Rockin' very loose pants, yeah
Rockin' very loose pants, yeah
Bury a million in the sand, by the clock tower
Before I die, take a hot shower

[Hook x4:]
Ride the Harley into the sunset

[Verse 2:]
By chance I seen her in the lobby of the Ritz
With her man, the one that swings a hockey stick
I was wearing all white, and my hair was looking precious
Shit, I might cop a chest and a dresser
A little machine to make espresso
I heard your bitch still wears Ecko
Hide drugs behind the box of De Cecco
Live from the Expo, it's me
I wear the wolf in the winter
Steer the coupe from the center
Who gives a f*ck, I'm a sinner
I had dreams of f*ckin' Keri Hilson in my Duncans
Woke up naked at the Hilton with a bitch that look like Seal's cousin
Bite the eel by the dozen
(Got to take it for the team)
Bite the eel by the dozen

[Verse 3:]
Pump the bass in the trunk
Shit rattled like a baby hand
Except this toy cost 80 grand
And I'm crazy tan, from all the places that I've been
Just from writing words with a pen
Tell the pilot "land the plane"
On Roosevelt and Main
Put a jacuzzi on the seven train
And lay John Coltrane play with that cocaine face
I know your crabs from that Old Bay taste
The brass band was seven pieces
My bitch's name is Peaches
We got twin Mac elevens with the features
Shit you barely got sneaker money
So much dick in their mouths, that's why these motherf*ckers speaking funny
You need to speak clearer dear, cause I can't hear ya
(I can't hear ya)
You need to speak clearer dear, cause I can't hear ya

[Verse 4:]
The Magic Johnson of the game
These lames don't want to play with me
Smile on your face, but I really know you hatin' me
I know you mad, cause I'm sick, and it's plain to see, it's me

[Hook x6]

[Outro - Guitar]