The Maybe Man Album Lyrics by AJR

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Maybe Man

Wish I was a stone, so I couldn't feel
You'd yell in my face, it'd be no big deal
But I'd miss the way we make up and smile
Don't want to be stone, I changed my mind
I wish I had eyes in the back of my head
Then I could see the places I've been
But then I would know that you're talkin' shit
I don't wanna know what my friends think
Wish I were my dog out on the lawn
I'd be so glad when I hear you come home
But if I were my dog, I wouldn't live long
I'm sure gonna miss her when she's gone
I wish I could act in a show on TV
'Cause then I could practice not bein' me
I'll practice my cry, put it into my reel
But you won't believe me when I cry for real

I wish that my brain would triple in size
I'd nail every joke, I'd win every fight
But I'd get too deep with that kind of mind
I don't wanna know the point of life
In some other life I would be rich
I'd travel in style, I'd cover the bill
But couldn't complain 'bout anything small
Nobody'd feel bad for me at all
If I was cocaine or a bottle of Jack
I'd get invited to every frat
But when you get old and your good days have passed
You'll only want me when you're sad

Wish I was a song, your favorite one
You'd follow the dance to me at your prom
I would be there when your baby is born
For two or three minutes, then I'm gone
I wish I was big, as big as my house
I'd sleep on the trees, I'd skip every crowd
But I wouldn't fit on my therapist's couch
God, I could really use him now
I wish I was God, I'd never trip up
And if I did, well, so f*ckin' what?
I could be cruel and break all your stuff
Yeah, I'd be loved no matter what
But if I was God, it'd get kinda weird
'Cause you would only say what I wanna hear
And then you would die, you'd love me to death
I never know who the hell I am

I wish I was me, whoever that is
I could just be and not give a shit
Hey, I'll be whatever makes you a fan
'Cause I don't know who the hell I am

One, two, pandemonium
One, two, pandemonium
Here I go again
One, two, pandemonium
Here I go again
One, two, pandemonium
One, two
Here I go again

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Touchy Feely Fool

Well, I'm not too superstitious
But I knock on wood a lot
Prayin' I wake up tomorrow
Get the guts to tell you off
But I know I'll never get there
You could scream you wish me dead
But I'll crawl back to you tomorrow
Why the hell can't I get mad?

Someday, won't this be funny?
Well, I want it funny now
Man, I wanna laugh so loud
Someday, won't this be long ago?
I wanna feel that now
Sorry if I can't see how

I'm screwed
But hey, what can you do?
I'm a touchy feely fool
I would give anything to not give a shit about you
Life is pretty cruel
For a touchy feely fool
I would give anything to not give a shit, but I do

I would give anything to not give a shit

Well, I'm not too claustrophobic
But I lose my breath sometimes
Now I can't even talk to ya
Now your lawyers talk to mine
Could you teach me to be ruthless?
Could I be unfeeling too?
Maybe someday when I'm older
I'll be better off like you

I'm better off a stick, I'm better off a stone
I'm better off a jerk, I'm better off alone
I'm better not feeling stress or feeling bliss
I won't feel much, at least I won't be feelin' this

I'm screwed
But hey, what can you do?
I'm a touchy feely fool
I would give anything to not give a shit about you
Life is pretty cruel
For a touchy feely fool
I would give anything to not give a shit, but I do
I do, I do
I would give anything to not give a shit

But someday, won't this be funny?
Well, I want it funny now
Man, I wanna laugh so loud
Someday, won't this be long ago?
I wanna feel that now
I'm sorry if I can't see how

Someday
Someday
Someday

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Yes I'm A Mess

I leave my house at 3 o' clock
With two hundred texts and two missed calls
Guess all of the friends that I pissed off
All talked

And I took a job for just July
But feels like I might be here for life
Yeah, I'm in it now, I'm in it now
Could I start again, somehow?

Yes, I'm a mess with an S on my chest
Got stress filling up my head
So I spent last night blowing up my life
Now you won't see me again

Cheers to the front and cheers to the back
And cheers to the 2010s
I could hate my guts when the sun comes up
But I like myself like this
I like myself like this

Why should I fix the shit I've done
When I could just pack my shit and run?
Delete every number from my phone
So long

Yeah, I'll get new shirts 'cause mine all stink
And I'll tell my boss what I really think
Yeah, I'm in it now, I'm in it now
Could I start again, somehow?

Yes, I'm a mess with an S on my chest
Got stress filling up my head
So I spent last night blowing up my life
Now you won't see me again

Cheers to the front and cheers to the back
And cheers to the 2010s
I could hate my guts when the sun comes up
But I like myself like this
I like myself like this

Yes, I'm a mess with an S on my chest
So I spent last night blowing up my life
Now you won't see me again

Yes, I'm a mess with an S on my chest
I could hate my guts when the sun comes up
But I guess that's what this is
I like myself like this

I could hate my guts when the sun comes up
But I like myself like this

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The Dumb Song

Oh, in my head

You said with certainty
I may be the dumbest person that you've ever seen
You think you're hurtin' me
Bet you won't believe it, but you kinda set me free

You've mentioned Adderall
Slip this guy a sedative, he's bouncin' off the wall
Honey, it's no big deal
We'll get you back to college, you could study somethin' real

So if that's how you feel

When we go down
When kingdom come
Don't look at me, don't look at me
I'm just too dumb
I'd love to stay (love to stay)
But like you said (like you said)
Don't look at me
'Cause I got nothin' in my head (nothin' in my head)
Oh, in my head

Too dumb for breakin' up
I'd do it in person, but I'd probably mess it up
I'll text you, "That's enough"
That's how empty-headed people get through shitty stuff

Your world is endin' soon
Mine's a little better 'cause I never watch the news
You make my lunch today
I would do it, but I couldn't work my microwave

So if that's what you're sayin'

When we go down
When kingdom come
Don't look at me, don't look at me
I'm just too dumb
I'd love to stay (love to stay)
But like you said (like you said)
Don't look at me
'Cause I got nothin' in my head (nothin' in my head)
Oh, in my head

You should not have done that
Da-da-da-da-da-da-da da-da-da
Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da
Da-da-da-da-da-da-da da-da-da
Da-da-da-da-da-da

When we go down (we go down)
When kingdom come (kingdom come)
Don't look at me, don't look at me
I'm much too dumb
I'd love to stay (love to stay)
But like you said (like you said)
Don't look at me
'Cause I got nothin' in my head (nothin' in my head)
Oh, in my head
Oh, in my head

When we go down
When kingdom come
Don't look at me, don't look at me
I'm just too dumb

---

Inertia

(Inertia)
I've worn the same skinny jeans
Since I was fifteen
It's probably nothing
(Inertia)
My friends say they're quittin' this week
To chase down their dreams
They're probably bluffin' but

Don't you like it bigger, better
But you do what you can? (Do what you can)
Don't you like a little better
When you don't understand? (Don't understand)
I was gonna save the planet
But today I got plans
I guess this is just what I am

I'm an object in motion
I've lost all emotion
My two legs are broken
But look at me dance
An object in motion
Don't ask where I'm going
'Cause where I am goin' is right where I am
Where I am goin' is right where I am

(Inertia)
You said you'd break up with her
But she met your family
And dating's the worst, yeah
(Inertia)
Now, you're not in love anymore
But you'll stick it out
For, like, twenty years more, sayin'

Don't you like it bigger, better
But you do what you can? (Do what you can)
Don't you like a little better
When you don't understand? (Don't understand)
I was gonna save the planet
But today I got plans
I guess this is just what I am

I'm an object in motion
I've lost all emotion
My two legs are broken
But look at me dance
An object in motion
Don't ask where I'm going
'Cause where I am goin' is right where I am
Where I am goin' is right where I am
Where I am goin' is right where I am

(Inertia)
I wanna move out of this town
But everyone knows me
And packin' is tiring
(Inertia)
I said I would start workin' out
But I'm f*ckin' hungry
And screw you, I'm tryin'
(Inertia)
I wanna be big like my plans
So why am I so tiny?
And why am I so mad?
It's inertia
Guess this is just what I am
I'm stuck in this life
And I'm stuck in these pants

I'm an object in motion
I've lost all emotion
My two legs are broken
But look at me dance (look at me dance)
An object in motion
Don't ask where I'm going
'Cause where I am goin'
Is right where I am
(Don't you like it bigger, better)
(But you do what you can?)
Where I am goin' is right where I am (right where I am)
(Don't you like a little better)
(But you do what you can?)
Where I am goin' is right where I am
Oh, inertia

---

Turning Out, Pt. III

Got it out of my system, didn't I?
Did my two years on Tinder, didn't I?
Well, I wanted to be wanted
Suddenly I'm wanting more
So we got a bit tangled, didn't we?
It's the best thing that's happened to me
Got exactly what I wanted
What if I don't want this?
Am I missing something?

'Cause half the time I can't love right
And I can't have sex and we both get quiet
Boy, I must be one f*cked up guy

Oh, my God, what a crazy night
It'll be fine, quick, let's get married
Man, I wish we were eighty-five
The rest of our life wouldn't sound so scary
Oh, I'm spiraling now, let's get kids and a house
Though I'm riddled with doubts
Is this how we turn out?

Hey, I love how you laugh when we're alone
How my dog's always happy when you're home
But my parents used to laugh too
And I think they had a dog
(I don't know, I don't know)
But you're late and you're messy, aren't you?
And I need too much attention from you
Though we shrug it off as nothing
Life is pretty long
It could turn into something

'Cause half the time I can't love right
And I'm half yours, and you're all mine
Boy, I must be one f*cked up guy

Oh, my God, what a crazy night (crazy night)
It'll be fine, quick, let's get married
Man, I wish we were eighty-five (eighty-five)
The rest of our life wouldn't sound so scary
Oh, I'm spiraling now, let's get kids and a house
Though I'm riddled with doubts
Is this how we turn out?

(Is this how we turn out?)

Everyone's got it, everyone's got it
Everyone's got it all figured out
Everyone's got it, what do I not get?
Everyone's got it all figured out

(Everyone's got it) don't overthink it
One day at a time, kid
Add up the days
You got someone to do life with
Don't overthink it
It's not f*cking science
Add up the days
You got someone to do life with
(Everyone's got it) don't overthink it
One day at a time, kid
Add up the days
You got someone to do life with
Love isn't big, kid
It's little and quiet
Let's do today
I think you'll turn out to like it

---

Hole in the Bottom of My Brain

There's a hole in the bottom of my brain
But when I party, the hole goes away
But the party I throw needs a picture to post
So the world knows the party was great
There's a hole in the bottom of my brain
But when you like me, the hole goes away
So there's likes and 'hello's on a post on my phone
Of a party I throw
In the hole in the bottom of my brain
(This is how you do it right)

Heads-up, I'm sorry to be that guy
Heads-up, I'm lookin' to just get by
Let's just say
Let's just say we're fine

There's a hole in the bottom of my brain
But when you love me, the hole goes away
And the likes on my phone, yeah, they'll start to explode
If I go and explode in L.A.
There's a hole in the bottom of my brain
If I make money, the hole goes away
Now, there's a thing made of gold in a home that I own
From a song that I wrote about likes and 'hello's
On a post on my phone of a party I throw
In the hole in the bottom of my brain
(This is how you do it right)

Heads-up, I'm sorry to be that guy
Heads-up, I'm lookin' to just get by
Let's just say
Let's just say we're fine
Let's just say
Let's just say we're fine

There's a hole in the bottom of my brain
When I spend money, the hole goes away
If I finally get clothes that are fancily sewn
I could finally be ready for fame

There's a hole in the bottom of your brain
When you get famous, the hole goes away
Now, there's coke on the nose of a bro I don't know
In a show, we'll wear clothes that were fancily sewn
In a town that I love on a coast that gets stoked
On the thing made of gold in a home that I own
From a song that I wrote about likes and 'hello's
On a post on my phone of a party I throw
But I know I'm alone, no, I know I'm alone
In the hole in the bottom of my brain

---

The DJ Is Crying For Help

Everyone's laughin' at me
But not like they used to
The room's spinnin' all around me
But not like I'm used to

Hired, hired, can I get hired?
I got no skills except gettin' high
I'm tryin', tryin', I can start Friday
You've wasted your life, but thanks for applying

Hey, now, hold up, we were fun as hell
I'm all grown up but you couldn't tell
Now I don't know what to do with myself
(Da-da-da-da-da-da-da)
You got older 'cause you're good at life
I'm all seventeen at thirty-five
Now I don't know if there's anything else

The DJ is cryin' for help
The DJ is cryin' for help
Don't know what to do with myself

Hey now, hold up, we were fun as hell
I'm all grown up but you couldn't tell
Now I don't know what to do with myself
The DJ is cryin' for help

Everyone's trippin' on pills
But now they're prescribed to
And everyone's stackin' their bills
But not 'cause they like to

Oh, hired, hired, can I get hired?
Yeah, I f*cked up, but I did it my way
Tryin', tryin', I can start Friday
Gettin' a life's a little like dyin'

Hey, now, hold up, we were fun as hell
I'm all grown up but you couldn't tell
Now I don't know what to do with myself
(Da-da-da-da-da-da-da)
You got older 'cause you're good at life
I'm all seventeen at thirty-five
Now I don't know if there's anything else

The DJ is cryin' for help
Don't leave me out
The DJ is cryin' for help
Don't leave me out
Don't know what to do with myself

Hey now, hold up, we were fun as hell
I'm all grown up, but you couldn't tell
Now I don't know what to do with myself
The DJ is cryin' for help
You got older 'cause you're good at life (don't leave me out)
I'm all seventeen at thirty-five
Now I don't know if there's anything else
The DJ is cryin' for help

And now I'm all (I'm all) alone (alone)
Waitin' for the beat to drop
Be kind to me, be kind and wait it out
And now I'm all (I'm all) alone (alone)
Waitin' 'til the party starts
Be kind to me, be kind and wait it out

And now I'm all alone
Waitin' 'til the party starts

---

I Won't

Put your hands up 'cause I won't
Raise a glass up 'cause I won't
Get your ass up 'cause I won't
I must've missed the hype
But maybe that's the way I feel

(Hello, hello)
Hello, how you doin'? Am I talkin' too fast?
I'm runnin' on adrenaline and one-hour naps
'Cause I do what you tell me to and do it to death
Do it death

Acapulco, Tel Aviv or maybe Japan
And pretty people yell at me to follow the dance
So I do what you tell me to and do it to death
But I can't do this shit again

Put your hands up 'cause I won't (right on time)
Raise a glass up 'cause I won't (my, oh, my)
Get your ass up 'cause I won't (I won't)
I must've missed the hype
But maybe that's the way I feel
Put your hands up 'cause I won't (right on time)
I'm not here 'cause you say so (my, oh, my)
Get your ass up 'cause I won't (I won't)
I must've missed the hype
But maybe that's the way I feel
That's the way I feel

(I don't, I don't, I don't)
I don't got a body like I see in the press
So I got to the precipice of pressin' my chest
And now I look impressive with a couple of pecs
Just like my friends

So welcome back and take a breath
You've come to life, you're bored to death
So welcome back and take a breath
You've come to life but I digress

Put your hands up 'cause I won't (right on time)
Raise a glass up 'cause I won't (my, oh, my)
Get your ass up 'cause I won't (I won't)
I must've missed the hype
But maybe that's the way I feel
Put your hands up 'cause I won't (right on time)
I'm not here 'cause you say so (my, oh, my)
Get your ass up 'cause I won't (I won't)
I must've missed the hype but maybe that's the way I feel
That's the way I feel

So welcome back and take a breath
You've come to life, you're bored to death
So welcome back and take a breath
You've come to life, you're bored to death
So welcome back

Acapulco, Tel Aviv or maybe Japan
And pretty people yell at me to follow the dance
So I do what you tell me to and do it to death
But I can't do this shit again

Put your hands up 'cause I won't (right on time)
Raise a glass up 'cause I won't (my, oh, my) (I won't)
Get your ass up 'cause I won't (I won't)
I must've missed the hype
But maybe that's the way I feel
Put your hands up 'cause I won't (right on time)
I'm not here 'cause you say so (my, oh, my)
Get your ass up 'cause I won't (I won't)
I must've missed the hype but maybe that's the way I feel
That's the way I feel

---

Steve's Going to London

Steve's going to London
Shaun's stuck in a suit
Tom sleeps on his best friend's lawn
Like every other afternoon
Steve's going to London
Dan peed in the pool
Tom fell for his best friend's mom
But what the hell you gonna do?

Hey-hey, look around, look around
Wouldn't it be nice for someone to miss ya?
Hey-hey, funny how all the things
That you used to like, now they depress ya
While you try to find some meaning in your life
Before you're gone
There's a song that don't mean anything at all
And it sounds like

Steve's goin' to London
Shaun's stuck in a suit
Tom sleeps on his best friend's lawn
Like every other afternoon
Steve's goin' to London
Dan peed in the pool
Tom fell for his best friend's mom
But what the hell you gonna
What the hell you gonna do?

Hey-hey, look around, look around
Wouldn't it be nice to see me on TV?
I'd dress to the nines with a smile
And you'd probably think that that was the real me

While you try to find some meaning in your life
Before you die
Here's a bunch of random shit to waste your time
And it sounds like

Steve's going to London
Shaun's stuck in a suit
Tom sleeps on his best friend's lawn
Like every other afternoon (every other afternoon)
Steve's going to London
Dan peed in the pool
Tom fell for his best friend's mom
But what the hell you gonna
What the hell you gonna do?
What the hell you gonna do?

(You, you make this rather snappy, won't you?)

I try hard to write a cool song
So I start with something simple, like trying to put my shoes on
Now something kinda clicked, 'cause you relate a bit
But no one's gonna care about a shoe song
I try hard to write a cool song
But I gotta make it matter so maybe I'll throw the news on
Could I relate the shoes to 2022
Or maybe an election down in Tucson?
I try throwing something cool on
So I'm listening to Kendrick and playing the Swimming Pools song
But why did I do that? 'Cause now I hate my track
I'm quite aware I'll never write a cool song
But who really needs a cool song?
There's so many better melodies, why do you need a new one?
So stop writing a song about writing a song
You're losing their attention, buddy, move on

Steve's going to London (what the hell?)
Shawn's stuck in a suit
Tom sleeps on his best friend's lawn
Like every other afternoon (every other afternoon)
Steve's going to London
Dan peed in the pool
Tom fell for his best friend's mom
But what the hell you gonna
What the hell you gonna do?
What the hell you gonna do?
What the hell you gonna do?

Steve's going to London
Steve's going to London
Steve's going to London
Steve's going to London (let's go, let's go)
Steve's going to London
Steve's going to London (I know, I know, I know)
Steve's going to London
Steve's going to London
Steve's going to London
Steve's going to London
Steve's going to London

---

God is Really Real

My dad can't get out of bed
There's somethin' in his lungs
I think that's what the doctor said
I gotta leave for Paris now
My band goes on at ten
And my dad can't get out of bed

The Earth is spinnin' like it always did
The New York Times' is publishin'
Some real important thing
And each day when the world wakes up
Our lawns will still be wet
And my dad can't get out of bed

God is really real when you really, really need Him
Karma just appears when you suddenly believe it
Hear it loud and clear, just as long as it's convenient (convenient)
Life's f*ckin' long 'til it stops
And God's f*ckin' fake 'til He's not

There's robots that are way too good at art
And everybody's sad now
And tryna get to Mars
Don't wanna hear your problems
'Cause there's just one in my head
And he can't get out of bed

What if we could break you out tonight?
This kind of thing happens to other dads
It don't happen to mine
I'll distract the doctors
We could sneak out with your meds
You could come along and be a roadie for the band
Come on, Dad, get out of bed

God is really real when you really, really need Him
Karma just appears when you suddenly believe it
Hear it loud and clear, just as long as it's convenient (convenient)
Life's f*ckin' long 'til it stops
And God's f*ckin' fake 'til He's not

Now it's late, I really gotta go
And we can't face our feelings, so we're makin' lots of jokes
And we won't cry about it, no, we'll be manly men
"I love you" sounds all corny, so I wrote this song instead
I'll sing it for you, Dad, when you get out of bed
I'll sing for you when you're out of bed

---

2085

You are not alone
Just know, just know
You are not alone
Just know, just know

If somebody told me I'd die at 40
I wouldn't have spent my time in bed
Writin' my dumb songs, my growin' up songs
I shoulda just grown up instead

You are not alone
Just know, just know

Now all of the interns are no longer interns
How long have I been out of town?
'Cause sometimes I wonder if I had kissed her
How different life would be right now

I smile when I cry to hide what I felt
"I'm doin' fine", speak for yourself
I shoulda just asked for help

Hey
It's 2085 and we're old as shit, whatever
Hey
I'd hate to have to die 'fore I get my head together
Whatever

You are not alone
Just know, just know

So finish your work now, it's gettin' warm out
If you got friends, don't let them leave
I turned 20-somethin', it didn't mean nothing
'Cause not one of them were there to see

You are not alone
Just know, just know

And go tell your grandson to go tell his grandson
You don't have to try so hard, ya know
'Cause I spent my whole life tryna be so liked
That only made 'em hate me more

Did I make you proud? Did I screw this up?
Sing with me loud, it's all that I've got
To know if I did or not
(Okay, okay)

Hey
It's 2085 and we're old as shit, whatever
Hey
I'd hate to have to die 'fore I get my head together
Together, together
Whatever

You are not alone
Just know, just know
Whatever
You are not alone
Just know, just know
Whatever

You gotta get better, you're all that I've got
Don't take forever, you're not here for long
You gotta get better, you're all that I've got

I wish I was me, whoever that is
I could just be and not give a shit
Hey, I'll be whatever makes you a fan
'Cause I don't know who the hell I am
I think it's too late to figure this out
If I could be me, I would've been it by now
Maybe I'm a stone, or big as my house
It looks like our time is runnin' out
So if this is me, then I'll do my best
I'll take all the shit, so you'll never have to
You can be you, and I'll be the rest
And maybe that's who the hell I am

You gotta get better, you're all that I've got
Don't take forever, you're not here for long
You gotta get better, you're all that I've got
But don't take forever, you're not here for long
I gotta get better, I'm all that I've got
For two or three minutes, then I'm gone