Andrew Jackson Jihad - Gift Of The Magi 2: Return Of The Magi Lyrics

I used to be a dead guy. Now I'm a f*cking Jedi.
And I've got lots of news for you and I've got a long list of things to do.
I used to dwell in the present. I used to be so hesitant.
But now I've got my whole life to live and I've got all my love to give.
To all you f*ckers that I hate.
Like the gift of the Magi.
You sold your soul to buy some tits. I sold my soul to grow a dick.
We got to get them in van.
But what if he resists?
Just kick him in the back of the f*cking head
and put him in the back of the f*cking van.
It's a miracle of science.
A list of betrayal and violence and it lives inside us all
and it lives inside her heart just like a stupid, f*cking, tapeworm.
Who can we blame?
The husband divorced his wife after she cut her hair
because she was way less f*ckable and that's just unforgivable.
He moved into a condo. He hung out by the pool
but he never wore a bathing suit. He just wanted to scope out the talent.
If God doesn't like ugly. Then God doesn't like anybody.
So f*ck God anyway. God is obsolete. Oh, my God thinks my jokes are funny.
There's no one to blame. People are just f*cking mean.