Eddie: Honeybunch,
Sad to say, but I have a hunch,
Screen romances went out to lunch,
That's no reason to pout.
Don't look bleak,
Happy endings can spring a leak,
"Ever after" can mean one week,
We're just having a drought.
Smile and sweat it out.
If we can just hang on,
We'll have compatability.
No need to worry,
We're gonna be all right.
One day the ache is gone,
There's nothing like senility.
So what's your hurry?
We're gonna be all right.
Meanwhile, relax!
I'll take a lover, you take a lover.
When that's played out,
They get the axe,
We can retire,
Sit by the fire,
Fade out.
We'll build our house upon
The rock of my verility.
Better scurry,
We're gonna be all night,
Oh, boy! we're gonna be all right.
Jennifer: I was told
"Just be faithful and never scold,"
Sounded easy, so I was sold.
I've been miserable since.
I was taught
When the prince and the dragon fought,
That the dragon was always caught.
Now I don't even wince
When it eats the prince.
I know the perfect pair
Their lives are at the pinnacle.
But how do we know
They're gonna be all right?
The bride is slightly square,
The groom is slightly cynical.
A little vino,
They're gonna be all right.
She aims to please,
She has a baby,
Then, though they may be
Having fine times,
When there's a crease,
She has another,
Now she's a mother
Nine times!
It all went wrong, but where?
Details are strictly clinical.
She's out in Reno,
The kids're 'doring the flight,
Hi ho, they're gonna be all right.
(dialogue)
Jennifer: I couldn't find Mauro.
Eddie: Well, we could walk to the cinema.
Jennifer: ...and save the gondola for another night?
Eddie: Sure you wouldn't mind?
Jennifer: Not if you don't.
Eddie: Oh no, I don't.
Jennifer: Then neither do I. There. Y'see?
Eddie: "I see" said the blind man.
Jennifer: "I hear" said the deaf lady.
Eddie:...So they joined the circus and lived happily ever after.
Both: *giggle*
(song)
Eddie: Things will heal.
I know couples who look ideal,
They no longer know what they feel,
They've been practicing charm.
All is well,
'Least as far as their friends can tell.
Please ignore the peculiar smell,
There's no cause for alarm.
Mildew will do harm.
Jennifer: What if her brain is dead?
Eddie: What if he's ineffectual?
Both: They look delicious,
They're gonna be all right.
They both go right to bed
When they feel intellectual.
No one's suspicious,
They're gonna be all right.
Jennifer: Who's on the skids?
She goes to night school--
Eddie: If it's the right school,
He'll permit her.
Jennifer: They love the kids,
They love their friends, too--
Eddie: Lately, he tends to
Hit her.
Jennifer: Sometimes she drinks in bed,
Eddie: Sometimes he's homosexual.
Both: But why be vicious?
They keep it out of sight!
Good show!
They're gonna be all right.
And so,
We're gonna be all right.
Hi ho!
We're gonna be all right!