Adrian.Exe - Kind Cruelty Lyrics

As I sit here and reminisce the pits of my lawlessness
I reminisce about the days I would spend the entire day
Honing my craft draft after draft
In search of flawlessness
Relentless, I swear die hard will be chiseled on my epitaph
My past had me dealing with depression alone
It had me feeling worn away
I remained in the shadows
It caused me to take the alleyways alone
Seeing cynical flash-blacks of a past I wanted to forget
I thought myself "They must be able to see it or sense it"
But I know they'll never be able to truly comprehend it
Dependent upon my damn medications in order to survive
I remember a time I had to justify the usage of my SSRIs
I told myself: "You do what you need to do to get by"
And if you survive there will be a day
Where you'll no longer have to be enslaved or deprived
Do you feel that disconnectedness?
It came as a consequence
Although,on the positive side, it did help revive and fuel my passion
Life was as cruel as it needed to be to develop my empathy for humanity

Life sometimes can be cruel as kindness
Detaching you to remedy your blindness
Shaping your heavenly identity
Righteously harnessed divine guidance

What you see is an accumulation of my environment and decisions
Which may have stemmed from lack of moral clarity and provisions
It was a result of years of being neglected and harshly disrespected
Hence my, six sense to put up this picket fence in defense
Hence my, statuary offense that only lead to a lifetime of recompense
Hence my, pushing others away at the expense of my own progress
A culmination of my past duress while trying to prevent my inevitable evanescence
As well as unaddressed regrets and a lack of ingrained sense of faithfulness
But I digress, not everything in my life was meant to depress
The positive aspect I'd like to stress is what brought me stress
Ironically, brought about my reassessment and enlightenment
I drew on upon every form of exclusion and suffering done to me
It ultimately allowed me to begin outmaneuvering any difficulties
I confess, I'm still a working progress
I use my finesse and often overdress
I still obsesses, but now It's with a purpose
It's all in the name of divine service

I find it the toughest to be passive
I find it much easier to spread havoc
Controversy has held my attention captive
Combativeness is passiveness
Its that illness that's degrades us
The real enemy lies inside of us
That's the difference between
To be forgiving and truly listening
It's a gift to keep your wits about you
Lacking discipline is what is truly limiting
Hate will leave your soul diminishing
Withholding animosity is crippling
What will leave your soul glistening?
The development of emotional intelligence
Strengthening your spiritual connection
With the one and only divine providence
Listen to this streaming of consciousness
Rid yourself of every source of spitefulness
Because blissfulness begins with due diligence