Aeon Altars - Smiling Lyrics

Dear distant brothers, dear worried mother
I left my depression back in my room
Dear loving father, it's been 25 years
Will I see the impression that I leave soon?
Sorted back through my photos
I remember not recognising myself at all
But time could heal my perspectives I heard
And even the ones that didn't age so well, but...
Smiling
Used to save that for special occasions
So I'd rally my worth, pay homage to my birth
Held back the tears and saved that smile for next year
Smiling
Used to save me from feeling so vacant
So I'd write one more verse, for less than what it's worth
Hold off the tears and let the smile just stay there
Dear distant lover who knew me never
Is it too late to be introduced?
My running motive is in 25 years I'll be...
Watching our children in the back run loose
Wish we could take some photos to remember
How we realised that we had it all
But time's a burden and finding you is something...
I can't say I ever did so well but...
Smiling
Used to say that I had to be patient
So I tallied the words, cut out the ones that hurt
Forgot my fears and found that smile from last year
Smiling
Wish it stayed without any dedication
So I made sure I heard the breeze and the birds
Roll off the tears and let the smile just stay there
Wish I smiled more
Trouble is I tried
But I'll keep on trying