Aidan Vaughn - wish Lyrics

How can I ease this pain when it's stuck inside of my mental
I can't even count how many times that I've seen the devil
The voices speak to me as I rap on this instrumental
Now I'm being told i'm hella great and I'm hella successful
I wish that you could understand just how I feel
How I could just be thrown around and then nobody's real
I'm stuck with sleepless nights, I'm waking up no time to heal
To heal the slices on my body and my heart of steel
God can you hear me, cause I've been praying
You ain't replying, so I ain't believing what they sayin
This blade look inviting sometimes, and I ain't even playin
When I say that I'm stuck with the devil he can't stop complaining
What do I do, can I just sit here and lie
Be insecure and just pretend that I be happy at times
Whenever sumn happens I be tellin people I'm fine
But I just put on a fake smile and say I'm alright
Dear god, I don't feel good today
Lately I've just been wondering why I'm thinking this way
Why do I exist at all? What if I perish away
Will anybody care? Will anybody sit here and stay
I feel alone inside my mind and stuck deprived
But I can't help it
Feeling lost in my own world. I give love, but I've never felt it
I think I'm stuck by myself, I speak for people who accept it
Thoughts racing like a track meet, all this shit is getting hectic
Getting tired, I just wanna close my eyes
And sometimes I wanna rest forever
I just wanna die
I never tell anybody cuz they'll think I'm telling lies
Or I'm going stupid, or I'm high
Or I'm sad and sleep deprived
People spit shit on my name
I just wanna be myself
Throwing rumors all around
Think I'm living in a hell
I act happy, even though I'm not
But nobody can tell
I think I just wanna leave this life
Bid a damn farewell