Al Montes - Loathing Myself (Album Version) Lyrics

I'm Falling
To this overwhelming feeling I'm not seeking, but I'm fiending like a demon
Installing
A bigger, badder update circulating through my circuits while I'm broken and hopeless with no emotion
Still Stalling
Cause I'm frozen, unspoken, leaps sealed, indulging for the upcoming misfortune I'm provoking
Appalling
But wanting for more like addiction, I snort the pain that it's sore when feeling worse, I'm torn with great remorse
Don't worry
Fine and dandy, quite happy as a child with candy
Nothing fancy, a man with issues that none can see
Cause no one sees me, non-existent and transparent like a window
Overlooked, so I'm through as I rest my head on my pillow
With a disease while asleep, think of death on the bed
I'm sick and tired of this, just waiting for my end
Just quick and fire at me, I'm losing more old friends
No more caring I get, I'll be forgotten and dead
Yeah
Enough with the fake face, I know I'm helpless
I've passed through this phase, got no more places
One, two, three, four, A to G notes
Happy themed songs, cloaking real stuff
Enough with the fake folks, listen to the faithless
Stop writing them fables, we express it with real stress
Pain's insane like jumping towards a speeding train
Wrecked when I think, and the ache never goes away
They keep saying to be brave, but I'm living to be more afraid
Cause when I get up in this stage, I collapse and fall flat on my face
They're preaching to show confidence, but what for when I get no compliments
If understanding can lead to some respect, then I guess we're ignorant for being the rejects
It really won't matter, no need to be flattered
Still fluent like water, even if I'm bothered
Won't be waiting for help, I'll be left in a shelf
So keep living yourself, I'll be loathing myself
I'm loathing myself
I'm loathing myself
There's no escaping, my soul is fading
Cause I'm loathing myself
I'm loathing myself
I'm loathing myself
There's no one to save me, so I handle my own beat
I'm loathing myself
Let's take it way back, back when I didn't give a damn
Back when days weren't black and I had my own jam
Welcome to this flashback, see this kid with his pad
Drawing doodles of the future, holding hands with his pals
Then the years pass by, like a big city's tram
Looking at their posts in Instagram
Who are filled with joy with their friends and fam
While I turned to the sacrificial lamb
So I wake up trying to understand
All the wrong I've done, and I can't withstand
What I've become, so I can't attend
Social events, and for that, I banned
Myself to ever be attached
Cause I can't find something that I cannot latch
Like a lonely date, I have no match
And no wound won't heal, there won't be no patch
Go ahead and smile, let your joys be felt
Just don't be like me, I'm just loathing myself
Please do not mind me, I'm just loathing myself
I'm loathing myself
I'm loathing myself
There's no escaping, my soul is fading
Cause I'm loathing myself
I'm loathing myself
I'm loathing myself
There's no one to save me, so I handle my own beat
I'm loathing myself
I am living this way, but there ain't no way
That I lost my shot stuck in a frame
With a repetitive thought, wondering every day
If it would be the same if I had more fame
So here I go, once more, at a slower pace
Telling you to hear what I have to say
Place to place, you might find many things to face
But take a second before wearing your Batman cape
Many things won't be the same, there will be some change
Don't take them for granted, might not be here to stay
Reflect on those around you and what your life has made
Then the realization decides if you'll fall in hate
Again and again, I'll be repeating the phrase
I don't care if you're sick of hearing it on replay
Whether you feel it or fear it, this is me to tell
Cause when I'm filled with rage, I'm loathing myself
I'm loathing myself
I'm loathing myself
There's no escaping, my soul is fading
Cause I'm loathing myself
I'm loathing myself
I'm loathing myself
There's no one to save me, so I handle my own beat
I'm loathing myself