alli h - i'm abandoning everything Lyrics

I wish I didn't care,
As much as I pretend I don't
I wanna dye my hair,
And tat my skin,
And burn my clothes.
But I don't really wanna want anymore,
I just wanna dissolve in the floor.
Everytime I talk I'm a chore.
How many times have I been here before?
That's the thing about doing drugs,
Sometimes that's all there's left to do
I'm tired of missing you,
Cause we can never go and start anew.
And that's the thing about chasing dreams,
Is I always fall on my knees
And I used up all the energy,
To try to stand back on my feet.
That's why I'm abandoning,
Yes everything, yes everything,
That way the disappointment,
It can't get to anything.
And I wish I could undo,
All the walls I let you through.
But now I'm gonna be a man,
Just like my father taught me to.
And I wish I could unsay,
The pretty picture I sent your way.
I created this illusion,
Now you have to watch it wash away.
That's why I'm abandoning,
Yes everything, yes everything,
That way the disappointment,
It can't get to anything.
You keep the emptiness at bay,
I let it take my thoughts away.
My love is like a poison tree,
You'll die the more you try to see.
And I actually cried,
Because I loved you so much.
And I think that's when I realized,
You could never feel that much.
And I think the joke's on me,
For letting you get to me.
But now you'll see,
How manly I can be.
That's why I'm abandoning,
Yes everything, yes everything,
That way the disappointment,
It can't get to anything.
You keep the emptiness at bay,
I let it take my thoughts away.
Project your hatred onto me,
I'll let it define me til I break.
And when the end it comes
And you see me shooting up,
Hold my hand and tell me,
You knew exactly where I'd end up.
I'm abandoning everything
I'm abandoning everything
I'm abandoning everything
I'm abandoning everything
Everything
Everything
Everything
Everything