Angel Xantana - Note to Self (Intro) Lyrics

Write me a testament
Love is a lie I guess
Why do I try again
Think I'm a masochist
Even though love is pain
Why can't I stay away
You were a work of art
I used to contemplate
And I know losing you
Is just a consequence
Did what I shouldn't do
Said what I shouldn't say
I know
I know this isn't what you wanna
What you wanna hear right now
But it's what you need to hear
Sometimes I be feeling like, like this shit is pointless
Like, no matter how much I try to make my life better
I keep sinking
You used to make me forget about all that shit
Now I can't find you
(Yeah)
I was calling for help and nobody picked up
Last night I had a dream that I hung by a rope
It was tied to my throat
My whole body was numb
In the room there was silence
A beautiful curse
Couldn't even remember
My last f*cking words
Is it really over
I'm asking myself
Am I really 19 on my way to a hearse
I was questioning God
And the whole universe
Do I only live once
Or can I try again
Does my mom even know that
Her son's f*cking dead
Didn't know how to feel
I was angry, upset
How the f*ck did my life
End up being a mess
Had a tear rolling out of my eye
Hit the floor, is it God or the devil
Who's taking my soul
I was born on this earth
And my momma had hope
I would be someone good
But I guess that I'm not
You used to make me forget about that shit
Now I can't find you
You used to make me forget about that shit
Now I can't find you