Arse Biscuits - Elementary Dear Poo Lyrics

It's 10 p.m. on this hot summer's night
My ass feels full and I'm not feeling right
I take off my jocks and I turn on the light
And make my way to the throne

I can feel a few poos lining up at the chute
Waiting for the push that will give them the boot
I'm hoping for a turd that is solid but loose
I'm feeling like a dog with a bone

It's all elementary dear poo
I'm so honored to be here with you
A little shiver, a little shake
I'm so proud of the turds we make
A little fibre, a little grain
Small things that can ease the strain
There's nothing more that I'd rather do
Cause it's all elementary dear poo

So here I am in the driver's seat
A few little farts packing plenty of heat
So pucker up turd for a kiss on the cheek
And a dive down into the bowl

I'm leaning back with my hands on my head
Hoping for a quickie then it's back to bed
So here they come like a team in a sled
Sliding right from my hole

It's all elementary dear poo
I'm so honored to be here with you
A little shiver, a little shake
I'm so proud of the turds we make
A little fibre, a little grain
Small things that can ease the strain
There's nothing more that I'd rather do
Cause it's all elementary dear poo

All those times when I'm sitting on the bowl
I get that tickle on my balls, and that itch in my hole
So its spread my sheets and let's go

It's all elementary dear poo
I'm so honored to be here with you
A little shiver, a little shake
I'm so proud of the turds we make
A little fibre, a little grain
Small things that can ease the strain
There's nothing more that I'd rather do
Cause it's all elementary dear poo