Lori Mattix was fourteen and
A real big star on the groupie scene
Her and her friend named Sable Starr
Could f*ck anyone with a big guitar
She knew a guy named Jimmy Page
Who had to keep her locked away for days
But there's a little bit more to this story
It all started when she met David Bowie
There weren't any photos of them together
But why would she lie
She f*cked every other guy
So what's another man to add to the list
"Anyways after we had dinner
We went back to the Beverly Hilton
And I'll never forget it because
It was this huge suite and all of a sudden
David opens the door and he's wearing
This gorgeous, beautiful kimono
With that pale skin and that hair
And he goes 'Lori, could you please come with me'
Ha! And he takes me into the bathroom
He's got a bath drawn and
He drops the kimono and gets in the bathtub
And says 'Can you wash my back'
Hahahaha"
"People just dream of stuff like this"
"I mean it was just so fabulous
He was very gentle with me
Knowing it was my first time
And he decided to massage me
And put me in a bath
Relax me, then he took me out
And put his robe on me
And laid me on the bed
And... the rest is history"
(Oh shit, what the f*ck, what the f*ck is going on, oioioioi)
I found her facebook the other day
'Cause I was curious what she would say
She's still in love with that rotting corpse
And I wanna interview her in New York
She has a photo with Robert Plant
And all kinds of cheeky bants
Believe what you want, there won't be a trial
David Bowie was a pedophile
That's why you don't idolize rock musicians
Because they're creepy as f*ck
I didn't finish the lyrics to this song
And now it's time to hit the bong