AshFree - Pressure Lyrics

I drive alone switching lanes on them city nights
Thoughts clouded by the brightness of these city lights
Drowning in my self pity I spent many nights
Overthinking everything that I did in my shitty life
Like if I had a chance to take it back
Would I let it slip or would I really make it last
Fighting back the devils that I'm trying to make it past
People tell me I'm doing good I try not to fake a laugh
Cause they don't really see what's underneath the surface of it
Looking at my mask I bet it probably looks perfect doesn't it
I lift it up my reflection it makes me feel disgusted
I'm the only one that see's myself for what these people wasn't
You really think you know the kid at all
I feel four foot while people think I'm sitting tall
I spill guts out people think I'm spitting raw
Pointing out the obvious while I'm picking myself apart
I wonder if I'll make it out of this personal prison
I sit alone and try to formulate these words of wisdom
I tell myself I'm sorry but I can't find the forgiveness
Its a fight to let go of the past when your full of resentment

I'm sick of feeling like a let down
I got anxiety that's beating on my head now
I need money and I'm sick of being stressed out
Pushing through the struggle I been giving it my best now

All the baggage that's been weighing me down
All the pressure that I feel on my chest got me caged in
My face slowly makes it way to ground
And all I think about is people that I love and how to save them
For myself there ain't no saving me now
No trust I feel tension every time I try to make friends
People close to me were quickest to bounce
I guess I'm gonna be alone until I'm laying in my grave then

How the f*ck you gonna change like we were never nothing
Told you I'd be there til the end and I wasn't ever bluffing
Gave my everything now I'm stuck with the repercussion
Trying fight bile from leaking outta my weak stomach
You were fake and I believed the shit
Double sided like riddles that I been speaking in
Like I should really have to fight to try to keep a friend
Full of self doubt and I can always feel it creeping in
I need a reason to believe in something worth achieving
No more people pleasing I'm slowly bleeding out in the deep end
Should I keep myself from reaching out I'm slowly sinking
Worse case scenarios that's the way that I'm always thinking
My mind turns the plot twist, its nonsense
Drop kick myself as my thoughts shift, I cough sick
Thoughts drip onto the paper feels like I've lost grip
Ah shit my personalities are in a mosh sit
F*ck this! I wanna run away from everything
Waiting for the perfect family that never came
Waiting for my self redemption but I never change
Never felt normal now I'm thinking I'm forever strange

I'm sick of feeling like a let down
I got anxiety that's beating on my head now
I need money and I'm sick of being stressed out
Pushing through the struggle I been giving it my best now

All the baggage that's been weighing me down
All the pressure that I feel on my chest got me caged in
My face slowly makes it way to ground
And all I think about is people that I love and how to save them
For myself there ain't no saving me now
No trust I feel tension every time I try to make friends
People close to me were quickest to bounce
I guess I'm gonna be alone until I'm laying in my grave then

I've contemplated my relapse, I need rap
Feeling like a junkie that's needs crack, I need tracks
They rap about the money but it doesn't mean jack
I got more important shit to talk about than mean stacks
Like the depression that dealing with
Or all the anger I conceal to keep from killing shit
When It comes to content I'm worth a mill in this
And I ain't stopping even if I never get a million hits

All the baggage that's been weighing me down
All the pressure that I feel on my chest got me caged in
My face slowly makes it way to ground
And all I think about is people that I love and how to save them
For myself there ain't no saving me now
No trust I feel tension every time I try to make friends
People close to me were quickest to bounce
I guess I'm gonna be alone until I'm laying in my grave then