autofictions - documentation Lyrics

Tried to cut myself out of your life in one clean motion
But I'm not so handy with scissors
So I ripped me out and tore me up, I made explosions
All the confetti a blizzard
Among snowbanks of paper memories that blanketed the room
I thought I closed the door so gently but the air pressure produced
A swirling flurry of suburbia, regression back to youth
How many pages would it take to reconstitute
What we had, what we lost, it's erased, let's move on
Don't go searching for love in the files in the attic
All the postcards and post-its, that mall photo booth strip
That flashed and we kissed, it's not real, it's just static
We relied on one another to avoid what scared us
A shield against indecision
And in the correspondence that I crumpled up and tossed away
Find a compendium of reasons I can't stay
Just look at what we shared, what we saw, what we wrote, what we thought
But don't go searching for love in the documentation
Take your scrapbook and scrap it, abandon nostalgia trips
Burn it all, don't film the conflagration
Volleys of anxious, bluish lights kept us awake until the amber
Sunrise hit our windows. you're telling me to let go of the
Affirmation carried by every vibration
Telling us that we're enough, that we are okay
I'm okay
What we felt, what we said, it's all gone, doornail dead
Don't go searching for love in the messages that I sent
To your phone, don't keep a memento
There's a poetry in an evening alone
What we shared, what we saw, what we wrote, what we thought
Don't go searching for love in the documentation
Burn the evidence and please try to understand
It's not personal-rather, a revelation
Together we can't grow