Bernstein Leonard - Pass The Football Lyrics

Betty Comden and Adolph Green
music by Leonard Bernstein

LOOK AT ME NOW,
FOUR YEARS OF COLLEGE,
FAMOUS PROFESSORS
TUTORING ME;

SCHOLARSHIP KID,
EVERYTHING PAID FOR,
FOOD AND VACATIONS,
ALL OF IT FREE.

DAY THAT I LEFT,
EVERYONE GATHERED,
THEIR CHEERING STILL RINGS IN MY EARS . . .

RAY WRECK RAH!
RAH WRECK RAY!
RAH WRECK!
WRECK RAH!
RAH WRECK WRECK!
W-E-C, R-E-K, R-E-Q,
WRECK, WE LOVE YOU!

CAUSE I COULD PASS THAT FOOTBALL
LIKE NOTHIN YOU HAVE EVER SEEN!

COULDNT SPELL A LICK,
COULDNT DO ARITHMETIC;
ONE AND ONE MADE THREE,
THOUGHT THAT DOG WAS C-A-T,

BUT I COULD PASS THAT FOOTBALL
LIKE NOTHIN YOU HAVE EVER SEEN.

COULDNT WRITE MY NAME,
COULDNT TRANSLATE JE VOUS AIME,
NEVER LEARNED TO READ
MOTHER GOOSE OR ANDR GIDE,

BUT I COULD PASS THAT FOOTBALL
LIKE NOTHIN YOU HAVE EVER SEEN.

COULDNT FIGURE RIDDLES,
PUZZLES MADE ME POUT:

WHERE THE HELL WAS MOSES WHEN THE LIGHTS WENT OUT?
I COULDNT EVEN TELL RED FROM GREEN,
GET THOSE VERBS THROUGH MY BEAN,
BUT I WAS BUDDIES WITH THE DEAN
LIKE NOTHIN YOU HAVE EVER SEEN.

PASSED WITHOUT A FUSS
ENGLISH LIT AND CALCULUS.
NEVER HAD TO CRAM,
EVEN PASSED THE BAR EXAM,

BECAUSE I PASSED THAT FOOTBALL
LIKE NOTHIN YOU HAVE EVER SEEN.

COULDNT DANCE FOR BEANS,
MASHED MY GIRLS TO SMITHEREENS.
SOMETIMES BLOOD WAS SPILLED,
STILL MY CARD WAS ALWAYS FILLED,

CAUSE I COULD PASS THAT FOOTBALL
LIKE NOTHIN YOU HAVE EVER SEEN.


THEN THERE WAS THE WEEK
ALBERT EINSTEIN CAME TO SPEAK:
RELATIVITY!
GUESS WHO INTRODUCED HIM? ME!

CAUSE I COULD PASS THAT FOOTBALL
LIKE NOTHIN YOU HAVE EVER SEEN.

HAD NO TABLE MANNERS,
USED TA DUNK MY ROLL,
ALWAYS DRUNK THE WATER FROM THE FINGERBOWL.
THOUGH I WOULD NOT GET UP FOR ANY SHE,
THE PREXYS MOM -- AGE NINETY-THREE --
GOT UP AND GAVE HER SEAT TO ME,
LIKE NOTHIN YOU DID EVER SEE.

IN OUR HALL OF FAME,
THERES A STATUE WITH MY NAME.
THERE WE STAND, BY HECK,
LINCOLN, WASHINGTON AND WRECK.
CAUSE I COULD PASS THAT FOOTBALL
LIKE NOTHIN YOU HAVE EVER SEEN!