Bob Ricci - Constipated Lyrics

[Parody of "Complicated" by Avril Lavigne]

Eat out
Whatchya cooking for?
My friends think I'm such a bore
Just cause I won't go with them out to eat
Processed meat

I steer clear of Burger King
Fast Food
It just ain't my thing
And if you understood what it does to me
You would see

Cause then later on
I'm stuck in the john
I trying to relax
I'm taking ex-lax
I've so stressing out
There's zilch coming out of me

Tell me
Why does fast food make me so constipated?
No matter what I order doesn't come back out
It gets me frustrated
It makes no differnce
What I get, you can bet
If it's meat, or it's sweet
Could be fries, there's no compromise
My gastrointestinal track doesn't wanna take it
No, no, no

I drove out to see the Doc
I'm still coping with the shock
Cause next thing
That I know, he's giving me
A colonoscopy

Then when I'm out of stamina
Time for another enima
What's worse
They still don't know why Micky D's is making me

A slave to the can
A Metamucil man
I can't seem to go
I'm tense head to toe
The viens in my neck
Are bulging out of me

Tell me
Why does fast food make me so constipated?
No matter what I order doesn't come back out
It gets me frustrated
It makes no differnce
Where I go, Domino's
Dairy Queen, Krispy Kreme
KFC, no thank you please
My gastrointestinal track doesn't wanna take it
No, no, no
No, no, no
No, no, no
No, no, no

Eat out
Whatchya cooking for?
I can't take this anymore
Don't you even think about inviting me
Can't you see

That when I get home
I'm stuck on the throne
I trying to relax
I'm taking ex-lax
I'm so stressing out
There's zilch coming out of me

Tell me
Why does fast food make me so constipated?
No matter what I order doesn't come back out
It gets me frustrated
It makes no differnce
What I try, or apply
Sour Kraut, Brussel Sprouts
Pune Juice, it's just no use
My gastrointestinal track doesn't wanna take it
No, no, no