Bo Burnham - High School Party (Girl) Lyrics

High School party, senior year
Boys and girls are all sippin’ on beer
I like soda, where’s the soda
Am I the only f*cking person here that likes soda
I see you from across the crowd
I said the party is bumpin’ and the music is loud
You’re really drunk and you’re looking sad
It’s like a date rape ad

Girl, then we start to dance and
Girl, baby this is romance
Girl, I’m starting to grow down below, shit, why did I wear sweat pants
Girl, you’re bodies like what
conjunction junction, that’s a fine ass but
I’m like a cashew in a lollipop, Just keeping suckin’ ‘til you get to the nut

And I said
Let’s rob an Asian kitchen, or stroll down the block
Either way girl, we’re taking a walk(wok)…nothing?
You’re going to love me the way my uncle did
Except you’re not gonna to go to court for doin’ it
Be a guillotine or my girl instead
Either way, you’re giving me head
I’m gonna love you the right way
Shorty with a body looking hotty when I say

Girl
When I say girl

We go into the bedroom exchanging nervous laughter
Why’s it called dry humping if I always need a towel after
You spread your naked legs and I see that wounded that never healed
Even though you’re yelling for me, I can tell your lips are sealed
We’re both aware of my erection
You ask if I have protection
I say Well um no...I-I tried to buy em once I was in the convenient store my old baby sitter walked in I had to hide them near the tic-tacs I was so embarrassed I peed myself a little bit

Girl
Girl

Insert a euphemism
A sexy mental prism
Increase my pelvic rhythm
For you with my syllogism
I know your body and I know how to please ya
Don’t thank me, thank wikipedia
Guys don’t go down, well I am-
What the f*ck is that, I should have brought my diagram
Ooh did you feel that, that was an educated guess
Ooh did you feel that, uh that one was a sneeze, my bad

High school party, senior year
None of that happened cause I wasn’t invited…hm