Bo Burnham - Inside (The Songs) Album Lyrics

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Content

If you'd have told me a year ago
That I'd be locked inside of my home
(Ah, ah, ah)
I would have told you a year ago
Interesting, now leave me alone
Sorry that I look like a mess
(Ah, ah, ah)
I booked a haircut but it got rescheduled
Robert's been a little depressed, no
And so today I'm gonna try just
Getting up, sitting down
Going back to work
Might not help, but still, it couldn't hurt
I'm sitting down, writing jokes
Singing silly songs
I'm sorry I was gone

But look
I made you some content
Daddy made you your favorite
Open wide
Here comes the content
It's a beautiful day
To stay inside

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Comedy

The world is changing
The planet's heating up
What the f*ck is going on?
Rearranging
It's like everything happened all at once
Um, what the f*ck is going on?
The people rising in the streets, the war, the drought
The more I look the more I see nothing to joke about
Is comedy over?
Should I leave you alone?
'Cause, really who's gonna go for joking at a time like this?
Should I be joking at a time like this?

I wanna help to leave this world better than I found it
And I fear that comedy won't help
And the fear is not unfounded
Should I stop trying to be funny?
Should I give away my money? No!
What do I do?

Healing the world with comedy
The indescribable power of your comedy
The world needs direction
From a white guy like me?
Bingo
Who is healing the world with comedy?
That's it!

The world is so f*cked up
Systematic oppression
Income inequality
The other stuff
And there's only one thing I can do about it...
While... while being paid... and being the center of attention

Healing the world with comedy
Making a literal difference, metaphorically
A Jew walks into a bar
And I've saved him a seat
That's healing the world with comedy

I'm a special kind of white guy
I self-reflected and I want to be an agent of change
So I am going to use my privilege for the good
(Very cool, way to go!)
American white guys
We've had the floor for at least 400 years
So maybe I should just shut the f*ck up

I'm bored
I don't wanna do that
There's got to be another way
For me to help out without standing on the sidelines
Never!
The wait is over!
I'm white, and I'm here to save the day!
Lord help me channel Sandra Bullock in The Blind Side
Sandra Bullock!

Healing the world with comedy
Making a literal difference, metaphorically
And yes, most likely they'll pay me
But I'd do it for free
I am healing the world with:
Comedy

If you wake up in a house that's full of smoke
Don't panic, call me and I'll tell you a joke
If you see white men dressed in white cloaks
Don't panic, call me and I'll tell you a joke
Oh shit, should I be joking in a time like this?
If you start to smell burning toast
You're having a stroke or overcooking your toast
If you wake up in a house that's full of smoke
Don't panic, call me and I'll tell you a joke
If you see white men dressed in white cloaks
Don't panic, call me and I'll tell you a joke
Oh shit, should I be joking in a time like this?
Somebody help me out, cause I don't know

And I want to help to leave this world better than I found it
And I fear that comedy won't help
And the fear is not unfounded
Should I stop trying to be funny?
Should I give away my money? No!

I know what I gotta do
Healing the world with comedy
Making a literal difference, metaphorically
I swore I'd never be back
But now I'm back on my feet
And I'm healing the world with comedy

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FaceTime With My Mom Tonight

Pour me a drink and clear my schedule
I'ma FaceTime with my mom tonight
These 40 minutes are essential
I'ma FaceTime with my mom tonight

I call, she answers and her hair is wet
I say, "Did you just shower?"
She says, "How'd you guess?"
I say, "Your hair is wet"
She says, "Oh yeah"

I tell my boys I need some space, yeah
I'ma FaceTime with my mom tonight
She'll hold her iPhone 5 no further than 6 inches from her face
Yeah, I'ma FaceTime with my mom tonight

She says, "Oh, look who's here. Say hi to dad!"
He says, "How ya doing, bud?"
I say, "I'm not so bad"
And that's the deepest talk we've ever had

Watching as she looks for her glasses
I'ma FaceTime with my mom tonight
She'll tell me all about the season six finale of The Blacklist
I'ma FaceTime with my mom tonight

My mother's covering her camera with her thumb
I'll waste my time FaceTiming with my mom
My mother's covering her camera with her thumb
I'll waste my time FaceTiming with my mom
My mother's covering her camera with her thumb
I'll waste my time FaceTiming with my mom
My mother's covering her camera with her thumb
I'll waste my time FaceTiming with my mom

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How The World Works

Hey, kids
Today, we're gonna learn about the world

The world that's around us
Is pretty amazing
But how does it work?
It must be complicated
The secret is the world can only work
When everything works together

A bee drinks from a flower
And leaves with its pollen
A squirrel in a tree
Spreads the seeds that have fallen
Everything works together
The biggest elephant, the littlest fly
The gophers underground, the birds in the sky
And every single cricket, every fish in the sea
Gives what they can and gets what they need

That is how the world works
That is how the world works
From A to Zebra
To the worms in the dirt
That's how it works

Hey everyone
Look who stopped by to say hello
It's Socko
Hey!
Where you been, Socko?
I've been where I always am when you're not wearing me on your hand
In a frightening, liminal space between states of being
Not quite dead, not quite alive
It's similar to a constant state of sleep paralysis
Socko, we were just talking about the world and how it works
Boy, that sounds complicated!
Do you have anything you'd want to teach us about the world?
I wouldn't say anything that you probably haven't already said yourself
I don't know about that, Socko
How about you give it a try?
Alright!

The simple narrative taught in every history class
Is demonstrably false and pedagogically classist
Don't you know the world is built with blood?
And genocide and exploitation
The global network of capital essentially functions
To separate the worker from the means of production
And the FBI killed Martin Luther King
Private property's inherently theft
And neoliberal fascists are destroying the left
And every politician, every cop on the street
Protects the interests of the pedophilic corporate elite

That is how the world works
Really?
That is how the world works (that is how the world works)
Genocide, the Natives say you got to it first
That's how (that's how) it works

That's pretty intense
No shit
What can I do to help?
Read a book or something, I don't know
Just don't burden me with the responsibility of educating you
It's incredibly exhausting
I'm sorry, Socko
I was just trying to become a better person
Why do you rich f*cking white people insist on seeing every socio-political conflict through the myopic lens of your own self-actualization?
This isn't about you
So either get with it, or get out of the f*cking way
Watch your mouth, buddy
Remember who's on whose hand here
But that's what I
Have you not been f*cking listening?
We are entrenched in
Alright, alright
Wait, no please!
I don't wanna go back, please
I can't go, I can't go back
Please, please, I'm sorry
Are you gonna behave yourself?
Yes
Yes, what?
Yes, sir
Look at me
Yes, sir
That's better

That is how the world works
That is how the world works
I hope you learned your lesson
I did and it hurt
That's how it works

No!

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White Woman's Instagram

An open window
A novel, a couple holding hands
An avocado
A poem written in the sand
Fresh-fallen snow on the ground
A golden retriever in a flower crown
Is this Heaven?
Or is it just a

White woman
A white woman's Instagram
White woman (White woman)
A white woman's Instagram (Instagram)
White woman
A white woman's Instagram
White woman
A white woman's Instagram

Latte foam art, tiny pumpkins
Fuzzy, comfy socks
A coffee table made out of driftwood
A bobblehead of Ruth Bader Ginsburg
A needlepoint of a fox
Some random quote from Lord of the Rings
Incorrectly attributed to Martin Luther King
Is this Heaven?
Or am I looking at a

White woman
A white woman's Instagram
White woman (White woman)
A white woman's Instagram (Instagram)
White woman
A white woman's Instagram
White woman
A white woman's Instagram

Her favorite photo of her mom
The caption says:
"I can't believe it
It's been a decade since you've been gone
Momma, I miss you
I miss sitting with you in the front yard
Still figuring out how to keep living without you
It's got a little better, but it's still hard
Momma, I got a job I love and my own apartment
Momma, I got a boyfriend, and I'm crazy about him
Your little girl didn't do too bad
Momma, I love you. Give a hug and kiss to Dad"

A goat-cheese salad (Goat-cheese salad)
A backlit hammock (Backlit hammock)
A simple glass of wine
Incredibly derivative political street art
A dreamcatcher bought from Urban Outfitters
A vintage neon sign
Three little words, a couple of doves
And a ring on her finger from the person that she loves
Is this Heaven?
Or is it just a

White woman
A white woman's Instagram
White woman (White woman)
A white woman's Instagram (Instagram)
White woman
A white woman's Instagram
White woman
A white woman's Instagram

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Unpaid Intern

Who needs a coffee? Cause I'm doing a run
I'm writing down the orders now for everyone
The coffee is free, just like me
I'm an unpaid intern

Sorting papers, runnin' around (Runnin' around)
Sitting in the meeting room, not making a sound (Not a sound)
Barely people, somehow legal
Unpaid intern

You work all day, go back to your dorm
And since you can't afford a mortgage, you just torrent a porn
Cause you're an intern (Unpaid)

Wa-da-da-wap-wa-da

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Bezos I

CEO, entrepreneur
Born in 1964
Jeffrey
Jeffrey Bezos

CEO, entrepreneur
Born in 1964
Jeffrey
Jeffrey Bezos

Come on, Jeffrey, you can do it
Pave the way, put your back into it

Tell us why
Show us how
Look at where you came from
Look at you now

Zuckerberg and Gates and Buffet
Amateurs can f*cking suck it
F*ck their wives, drink their blood
Come on, Jeff, get 'em!

[*screams*]

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Sexting

Sexting
It isn't sex it's the next best thing
Sexting
Aye, aye
AT&T

I am in bed I am ready to go with you
Tonight I'm thinking of taking it slow
We'll use emojis only
We don't need phonetical diction
We'll talk dirty like we're ancient Egyptians

You send me a peach
I send a carrot back
You send a Ferris wheel
That's pretty abstract
I send back a ticket stub
Implying that the Ferris wheel's your body
And I'd really love admission to it
Oh no!
What if now you think that I'm implying your vagina is as big as a Ferris wheel?
You send back a snowman
Crisis averted
(Thank god)

Sexting (Whoa)
It isn't sex it's the next best thing (Next best thing)
Sexting
Aye, aye
AT&T

No more emojis, now it's on to words
I ask what you're wearing. You reply, "A shirt"
You say, "Are you naked?"
I say, "Yeah, except for a top hat"
You say, "lmao" but I doubt that

I'm getting hot at just the thought of what I'd do to you
Cause in my head I'm in your bed and getting through to you
They made the internet for nights like these
I love you, baby
Send a picture of your tits, please

Sexting (Whoa)
It isn't sex is the next best thing (Next best thing)
Sexting
Aye, aye (We are Sexting)
AT&T

You send the pic and say it's now my turn
Jesus f*cking Christ I guess I never learn
My phone's flash is my only light and
The flash makes my dick look frightened
I chicken out and send a picture of my face instead
Because my dick looks like the baby from eraserhead
You say, "I sent my titties that's not fair"
So I send it to you and then my phone dies

Another night on my own, yeah
Stuck in my home, yeah
Sitting alone
One hand on my dick and one hand on my phone, yeah
Another night on my own, yeah
Stuck in my home, yeah
Sitting alone
One hand on my dick and one hand on my phone, yeah
Another night on my own, yeah
Stuck in my home, yeah
Sitting alone
One hand on my dick and one hand on my phone, yeah (Pussy)
Another night on my own, yeah (Titties)
Stuck in my home, yeah (Balls)
Sitting alone
One hand on my dick and one hand on my phone, yeah

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Look Who's Inside Again

Trying to be funny and stuck in a room
There isn't much more to say about it
Can one be funny when stuck in a room?

I took a big f*cking breath

Trying to be funny and stuck in a room
There isn't much more to say about it
Can one be funny when stuck in a room?
Being in, trying to get something out of it
Try making faces
Try telling jokes, making little sounds

I was a kid who was stuck in his room
There isn't much more to say about it
When you're a kid and you're stuck in your room
You'll do any old shit to get out of it
Try making faces
Try telling jokes, making little sounds

Well, well
Look who's inside again
Went out to look for a reason to hide again
Well, well
Buddy, you found it
Now, come out with your hands up
We've got you surrounded

One more

---

Problematic

I grew up as your usual suburbanite
A tiny town in Massachusetts
Overwhelmingly white ♪
I went to church on Sundays
In a suit and a tie
Then spent my free time
Watching Family Guy

I started doing comedy
When I was just a sheltered kid
I wrote offensive shit
And I said it
Father, please forgive me
For I did not realize what I did
Or that I'd live to regret it

Times are changing
And I'm getting old
Are you gonna hold me accountable?
My bed is empty, and I'm getting cold
Isn't anybody gonna
Hold me accountable?

[*moans*]

I'm problematic
He's a problem
When I was 17, on Halloween
I dressed up as Aladdin
He's a problem
I did not darken my skin
But still it feels weird in hindsight

I want to show you
How I'm growing as a person, but first
I feel I must address the lyrics
From the previous verse
I tried to hide behind my childhood
And that's not okay
My actions are my own
I won't explain them away

I've done a lot of self-reflecting
Since I started singing this song
I was totally wrong when I said it
Father, please forgive me
For I did not realize what I did
Or that I'd live to regret it

Times are changing
And I'm getting old
Are you gonna hold me accountable?
My bed is empty, and I'm getting cold
Isn't anybody gonna
Hold me accountable?

[*moan echoing*]

I'm problematic
He's a problem
I just remembered that Aladdin costume's
In my mother's attic
He's a problem
I'm gonna go home and burn it...
Or not burn it. Is burning it bad?
What should I do with it?

And I've been totally awful
My closet is chock-full of stuff
That is vaguely shitty
All of it was perfectly lawful
Just not very thoughtful at all
And just really shitty

And I've been totally awful
My closet is chock-full of stuff
That is vaguely shitty
All of it was perfectly lawful
Just not very thoughtful at all
And just really

And I'm really f*cking sorry
Bitch, I'm trying to listen
Shit, I've been complacent
Sorry
If I'm gonna catch up
First, I gotta fess up
Sorry
Sorry

---

30

I used to run for miles, I used to ride my bike
I used to wake up with a smile
And go to bed at night with a dream, ahh!
But now I'm turning thirty
No!
I used to be the young one, got used to meeting people
Who weren't used to meeting someone who was born in 1990
No way! (Yeah, I was born in 1990)
Now I'm turning thirty
God, God damn it!

I'm (Turning thirty, turning thirty)
Turning (Turning thirty, turning thirty)
Thirty (Turning thirty, turning thirty)
I'm turning thirty (Turning thirty, turning thirty)

When he was twenty-seven, my granddad fought in Vietnam
When I was twenty-seven, I built a birdhouse with my mom
Oh, f*ck, how am I thirty?
I used to make fun of the boomers; in retrospect, a bit too much
Now all these f*cking zoomers are telling me that I'm out of touch
Oh yeah? Well, your f*cking phones are poisoning your minds. Okay? So when you develop a dissociative mental disorder in your late twenties, don't come crawling back to m...

I'm (Turning thirty, turning thirty)
Turning (Turning thirty, turning thirty)
Thirty (Turning thirty, turning thirty)
I'm turning thirty (Turning thirty, turning thirty)

And now my stupid friends are having stupid children
My stupid friends are having stupid children
My stupid friends are having stupid children
My stupid friends are having stupid children
And now my stupid friends are having stupid children
My stupid friends are having stupid children
My stupid friends are having stupid children
Stupid, f*cking ugly, boring children

It's 2020, and I'm thirty, I'll do another ten
2030, I'll be forty and kill myself then

---

Don't Wanna Know

How are you feeling?
Do you like the show?
Are you tired of it?
Never mind, I don't wanna know
Are you finding it boring?
Too fast? Too slow?
I'm asking, but don't answer
'Cause I don't wanna know

Do I have your attention?
Yes, or no?
I bet I'd guess the answer
But I don't wanna know
Am I on in the background?
Are you on your phone?
I'd ask you what you're watching
But I don't wanna know

Is there anyone out there?
Or am I all alone?
It wouldn't make a difference
Still, I don't wanna know
I thought it'd be over by now
But I got a while to go
I'd give away the ending
But you don't wanna kn...

---

Shit

How we feelin' out there tonight?
Hahaha, yeah
I am not feeling good

Wake up at 11:30, feelin' like a bag of shit (Oh no!)
All my clothes are dirty, so I'm smelling like a bag of shit
Go to pour my coffee, and I miss my cup
OMG, that is just my luck
Look in the mirror, say, "What's up, you useless f*ck?"

Are you feeling what I'm feeling?
I haven't had a shower in the last nine days (Ah)
Staring at the ceiling and waiting for this feeling to go away
But it won't go away

I'm not really feeling like I wanna get lit
(Tell us how you're feelin') Well, I feel like shit (Oh, shit)
Feeling like a saggy, massive sack of shit (Oh, shit)
Big ol' motherf*cking duffel bag of shit (Oh, shit)
All day, all shit
I'm not really feeling like I wanna get lit
(Tell us how you're feelin') I'm feeling like shit

Ladies (Yeah?) Do you feel like shit?
Tell me, do you feel like shit? (Oh, yeah)
Fellas (Huh?) Are you feeling like shit?
Tell me, are you feeling like shit? (Oh, yeah)
Ladies (Yeah?) Do you feel like shit?
Tell me, do you feel like shit? (Oh, yeah)
Fellas (Huh?) Are you feeling like shit?
Tell me, are you feelin' like shit? (Oh, yeah)

---

All Time Low

So, um... My, uh, my current mental health is is rapidly approaching an ATL ... which is, um... That's an all-time low. Not Atlanta. And, you know, I feel okay when I'm asleep. Like, when I'm asleep I feel alright. But it's basically... From the moment I wake up, I, uh... I just get this

Feeling in my body, way down deep inside me
I try not to fight it (Describe it!) Alright
A few things start to happen, my vision starts to flatten
My heart, it gets to tappin', and I think I'm gonna die

Yeah, so, um, yeah. Not, not doing great

---

Welcome to the Internet

Welcome to the internet
Have a look around
Anything that brain of yours can think of can be found
We've got mountains of content
Some better, some worse
If none of it's of interest to you, you'd be the first

Welcome to the internet
Come and take a seat
Would you like to see the news
Or any famous women's feet

There's no need to panic
This isn't a test [*laughs*]
Just nod or shake your head and we'll do the rest

Welcome to the internet
What would you prefer:
Would you like to fight for civil rights
Or tweet a racial slur
Be happy
Be horny
Be bursting with rage
We got a million different ways to engage

Welcome to the internet
Put your cares aside
Here's a tip for straining pasta
Here's a nine-year-old who died
We got movies, and doctors, and fantasy sports
And a bunch of colored pencil drawings of all the different characters in Harry Potter f*cking each other! Welcome to the internet!

Hold on to your socks
'Cause a random guy just kindly sent you photos of his cock
They are grainy and off-putting
He just sent you more
Don't act surprised
You know you like it, you whore

See a man beheaded
Get offended, see a shrink
Show us pictures of your children
Tell us every thought you think

Start a rumor, buy a broom
Or send a death threat to a boomer
Or DM a girl and groom her
Do a Zoom or find a tumor
And here's a healthy breakfast option
You should kill your mom

Here's why women never f*ck you
Here's how you can build a bomb
Which Power Ranger are you?
Take this quirky quiz
Obama sent the immigrants
To vaccinate your kids

Could I interest you in everything
All of the time?
A little bit of everything
All of the time
Apathy's a tragedy
And boredom is a crime
Anything and everything
All of the time

Could I interest you in everything
All of the time?
A little bit of everything
All of the time
Apathy's a tragedy
And boredom is a crime
Anything and everything
All of the time

You know, it wasn't always like this

Not very long ago
Just before your time
Right before the towers fell
Circa '99

This was catalogues
Travel blogs
A chat room or two
We set our sights and spent our nights
Waiting
For you
You
Insatiable you
Mommy let you use her iPad
You were barely two
And it did all the things
We designed it to do

Now look at you
Oh

Look at you
You, you
Unstoppable, watchable
Your time is now
Your inside's out
Honey, how you grew
And if we stick together
Who knows what we'll do
It was always the plan
To put the world in your hand

[*laughing hysterically*]

Could I interest you in everything
All of the time
A bit of everything
All of the time
Apathy's a tragedy
And boredom is a crime
Anything and everything
All of the time

Could I interest you in everything
All of the time
A little bit of everything
All of the time
Apathy's a tragedy
And boredom is a crime
Anything and everything
And anything and everything
And anything and everything
And all of the time

---

Bezos II

Jeffery Bezos
Jeffery Bezos
Jeffery Bezos
Uh!
Jeffery Bezos
Jeffery Bezos
Jeffery Bezos
You did it!
Jeffery Bezos
Jeffery Bezos
Jeffery Bezos
Congratulations!

---

That Funny Feeling

I can't really, uh, play the guitar very well or sing, so uh, apologies

Stunning 8K-resolution meditation app
In honor of the revolution, it's half-off at the Gap
Deadpool, self-awareness, loving parents, harmless fun
The backlash to the backlash to the thing that's just begun

There it is again
That funny feeling
That funny feeling
There it is again
That funny feeling
That funny feeling

The surgeon general's pop-up shop, Robert Iger's face
Discount Etsy agitprop, Bugles' take on race
Female Colonel Sanders, easy answers, civil war
The whole world at your fingertips, the ocean at your door
The live-action Lion King, the Pepsi Halftime Show
Twenty-thousand years of this; seven more to go
Carpool Karaoke, Steve Aoki, Logan Paul
A gift shop at the gun range, a mass shooting at the mall

There it is again
That funny feeling
That funny feeling
There it is again
That funny feeling
That funny feeling

Reading Pornhub's terms of service, going for a drive
And obeying all the traffic laws in Grand Theft Auto V
Full agoraphobic, losing focus, cover blown
A book on getting better hand-delivered by a drone
Total disassociation, fully out your mind
Googling derealization, hating what you find
That unapparent summer air in early fall
The quiet comprehending of the ending of it all

There it is again
That funny feeling
That funny feeling
There it is again
That funny feeling
That funny feeling

Hey, what can you say?
We were overdue
But it'll be over soon
You wait
Hey, what can you say?
We were overdue
But it'll be over soon
Just wait
Hey, what can you say?
We were overdue
But it'll be over soon
You wait
Hey, what can you say?
We were overdue
But it'll be over soon
You wait
Hey, what can you say?
We were overdue
But it'll be over soon
You wait

---

All Eyes on Me

Get your f*cking hands up
Get on out of your seats
All eyes on me, all eyes on me
Get your f*cking hands up
Get on out of your seats
All eyes on me, all eyes on me

Are you feeling nervous? Are you having fun?
It's almost over, it's just begun
Don't overthink this, look in my eye
Don't be scared, don't be shy
Come on in, the water's fine

We're going to go where everybody knows
Everybody knows, everybody, ooh
We're going to go where everybody knows
Everybody knows

Get your f*cking hands up
Get on out of your seat
All eyes on me, all eyes on me
Ey, come on, get your f*cking hands up
Get on out of your seat
All eyes on me, all eyes on me, yeah

Heads down, pray for me
Heads down, now, pray for me
Get your f*cking hands up
Get on out of your seat
All eyes on me, all eyes on me

You wanna hear a funny story? So, uh... Five years ago, I quit performing live comedy, because I was beginning to have severe panic attacks while on stage, which is not a good place to have them. So I quit. And I didn't perform for five years, and I spent that time trying to improve myself mentally. And you know what? I did! I got better! I got so much better, in fact, that in January of 2020, I thought, "You know what? I should start performing again. I've been hiding from the world, and I need to re-enter." And then, the funniest thing happened...

Are you feeling nervous? Are you having fun?
It's almost over, it's just begun
Don't overthink this, look in my eye
Don't be scared, don't be shy
Come on in, the water's fine

You say the ocean's rising-like I give a shit
You say the whole world's ending-honey, it already did
You're not gonna slow it, Heaven knows you tried
Got it? Good, now get inside

We're going to go where everybody knows
Everybody knows, everybody knows
We're going to go where everybody knows
Everybody knows

Get your f*cking hands up
Get on out of your seat
All eyes on me, all eyes on me
Come on get your f*cking hands up
Get on out of your seats
All eyes on me, all eyes on me, yeah

Hands down, pray for me
Heads down now, pray for me
I said, get your f*cking hands up
Get up! Get up!
I'm talking to you-get the f*ck up!

Get your f*cking hands up
Get on out of your seat
All eyes on me, all eyes on me
Hey, c'mon, get your f*cking hands up
Get on out of your seat
All eyes on me, all eyes on me, yeah

Come on, heads down, pray for me
Heads down now, pray for me
I said, get your f*cking hands up
Get... [*laughs*]
All eyes on me, all eyes on me

---

Goodbye

Um, possible, uh, ending song that is not finished yet
Test, take one

So long, goodbye
I'll see you when I see you
You can pick the street
I'll meet you on the other side
So long, goodbye
Do I really have to finish?
Do returns always diminish?
Did I say that right?

Does anybody want to joke
When no one's laughing in the background?
So this is how it ends
I promise to never go outside again

So long, bye!
I'm slowly losing power
Has it only been an hour?
No, that can't be right
So long, goodbye
Hey, here's a fun idea
How 'bout I sit on the couch
And I watch you next time?

I wanna hear you tell a joke
When no one's laughing in the background
So this is how it ends
I promise to never go outside again

Am I going crazy?
Would I even know?
Am I right back where I started fourteen years ago?
Wanna guess the ending? If it ever does
I swear to God that all I've ever wanted was
A little bit of everything, all of the time
A bit of everything, all of the time
Apathy's a tragedy, and boredom is a crime
I'm finished playing, and I'm staying inside
If I wake up in a house that's full of smoke
I'll panic, so call me up and tell me a joke
When I'm fully irrelevant and totally broken, damn it
Call me up and tell me a joke
Oh, shit, you're really joking at a time like this?
Well, well, look who's inside again
Went out to look for a reason to hide again
Well, well, buddy, you found it
Now come out with your hands up
We've got you surrounded

---

Any Day Now

It'll stop any day now (any day now, any day now)
It'll stop any day now (any day now, any day now)
It'll stop any day now (any day now, any day now)
It'll stop any day now (any day now, any day now)
It'll stop any day now (any day now, any day now)
It'll stop any day now (any day now, any day now)
It'll stop any day now (any day now, any day now)
It'll stop any day now (any day now, any day now)