Ben Folds - Army Lyrics

Well I thought about the army
Dad said, son you're f*cking high
And I thought, yeah there's a first for everything
So I took my old man's advice

Three sad semesters
It was only fifteen grand spent in bed
I thought about the army
I dropped out and joined a band instead

Grew a mustache and a mullet
Got a job at chic-fil-a
Citing artistic differences
The band broke up in may

And in June reformed without me
And they'd got a different name
I nuked another grandma's apple pie
And hung my head in shame

I've been thinking a lot today
I've been thinking a lot today
Oh, I think I'll write a screenplay
Oh, I think I'll take it to LA

Oh, I think I'll get it done yesterday
In this time of introspection
On the eve of my election
I say to my reflection

God, please spare me more rejection
'cause my peers, they criticize me
And my ex-wives all despise me
Try to put it all behind me

But my redneck past is nipping at my heels
I've been thinking a lot today
I've been thinking a lot today
I've been thinking a lot today

I thought about the army...