Bipola - Beautiful Poignant Disarray Lyrics

Sit and I cry watching Withnail & I
Sipping a cider, wishing that I were
Sitting beside her, knowing she's safe and sound
Way back before my feeling's were made profound
So grateful now, regardless of all that pain I found
In her hateful embrace
On days when her face would frown at me
Hurt at the time but now I see
How it must have felt when the trust she'd mustered
Fell by the wayside, needed a friend...
Not a needy pretender too feeble to even speak his agenda
Openly, not that it was known to me
Till that fateful rainy day when I chose to be
Brave for a change and show her me
In the form of some poetry, just prose for me

And I hope that you're doing better now
You deserve to live happy and free
If you hate me or feel I let you down
I ain't angry it just saddens me

Never planned to show her, but when I had her close to me
Felt maybe it was sposed to be
Guess not... I can live with that
But the thought of her hatin' me, straight makes me bleed
From the heart, and maybe it was me from the start
I'm not exactly functional
Can't blame it on the sick girl whose soul is made of chipped pearls
Heart too motherf*ckin' beautiful for this world
Most precious diamond, fo-rever shinin'
Brighter than eyes perceive
Soul was in emergency but never once occurred to me
A single time that I could leave
Never once thought of abandoning her
No matter how much she'd trampled my worth
Not to mention my heart, soul, mind, plus spine and spirit
Aura divine, felt blessed when I was near it

And I hope that you're doing better now
You deserve to live happy and free
If you hate me or feel I let you down
I ain't angry it just saddens me

Heartbreak, suicides, ODs, who am I
Dentity crises, empathy I bleed
Painful and blissless, shameful existence
Rape's on the rapist, f*ck blaming the victims
Love for humankind straight leaves hate in the distance
Can't see beyond race, you an infant
If the universal you and I truly started doin' right
We'd be facin' a systemic change in an instant

Yo I'd give any f*ckin' thing to make it right
Said I'd give any f*ckin' thing to make it right
Or at least get a proper chance to say goodbye
If I had a different heart then maybe I
Could hate her for all the time's she made me cry
So hard though most of that pain was hers
Transformed into mine, absorbed into my soul
Where it remains, no longer am I whole

Sky cried tears of joy, she bled tears of pain
Friendship she required, never be the same
Sky cried tears of joy, she bled tears of pain
Hurt me sure but empathy remains

Empathy remains
Even when the seasons change
I'll never be the same
But it ain't like she's to blame

No...