Bipola - Butterfly Lyrics

I have never felt so alone
Used to like it this way
When she left she took my soul
Kept my heart in dismay
Desperation comes and goes
Suffering's a mainstay
Though I know she helped me grow
Now I could give a f*ck what they say

Never miss an opportunity to squander one
Ruthlessly I con along and lucidly I ponder on
If truthfully I got it wrong or my perception was spot on
Doesn't matter anymore? Tell that to my withered poor
Heart and soul left broken battered
Harsh and cold, I know I matter
Even though disposal shattered spirit
So so hopeless, scattered
Best friend in the whole wide planet
Least with two legs, oh hi Sasha
That's my baby - love her like good parents love their kids yo
When she pass I'm out of here
Call my pussy, coward, weird
Freak if you like - give a f*ck what you think
That's some real shit
Music been dope, grew from grim hope
Care less if you feel it
Opinion's worth as little as I felt I was when she split
Seem sick, it's cause I am - mind stay in the gutter man
Needs a cleansing, fiend for ending this life in a breath quick
Is it called cross dress if I rock a long tight ropey necklace
And is that something country bumpkin's might not be impressed with
Honest guess is yes bitch - on my death bed let's sit
And pre-tend that it isn't over, dreams end wake up cold and sober
Taught me to lucid dream and all I could do was fiend
To see her face and tell her something
Never knew that hell was coming
Jilted be subliminally, still I didn't see
Foolishly figured we the epitome of symmetry
Thought we'd go together on some BPD and DBT shit
Hopin' she'd kapiche my state emotionally
Appreciate it totally
And even maybe grow with me
On some "please please baby don't you see"
That weak debased and phony me is long dead
Now there's only the real thing tainted, broke but free
Don't pretend there's hope for me
To ever live a life with meaning
Tried so hard to soothe the screaming
Silently inside of me
Drown it out with loudness now
But hear it on those quiet evenings
Feel that inner riot seething
Feel that inner riot seething
Feel that inner riot

Maybe I'm a violent being deep down but I lie and cheat
And try and be the righteous me society would like to see
Like to think I'm better but been on the brink forever
And they cannot grip my tether so if I slip I'm never comin' back
Like to think I'm better but been on the brink forever
And they cannot grip my tether so if I slip I'm never comin' back
Said if I slip I'm never comin' back

Freak show paragon, deemed broke bad and wrong
Theme so sad and sombre, death rap's my genre
Ain't classified at JB, won't hear it on the J's, please
They seem so Alan Bond lately
I'm still havin' fun with it, content to just kick it
Till they attempt to f*ck with it
Then I'll get my savage on, on some beast mode mastadon shit
Shit is bleak yo, that's just honest
Bucket list long, my f*ck it list longer
Turn this rap game into f*ckin' Dishonored
Stealth killin' shit, guess I felt ill equipped
Way back in the day, now I'm packin' that blade
That'll lacerate faces like havin' a shave with
A can of that mace shit, Mortein for rapists
And other wack plagues who masquerade human
Then suffocate burnin', that's just fate loomin'

This music wouldn't exist without her
Maybe I would though, so
Should I be upset or thankful
Guess that I feel both, oh
Not for all my little words
Splendid butterfly soul
Wings that make her beautiful
Gracefully she fly away from me