I saw a billionaire shooting up in an alleyway
These are desperate times
A housewife micro-dosed and found the meaning of life
These are desperate times
A suicidal glitter-bomber blew the minds of a Forever 21
These are desperate times for everyone
A hipster planted a pot plant on the lawn of a paper factory
These are desperate times
My weed comes in a plastic bag grown from patent seed
These are desperate times
A senator ate an edible and became someone to trust
These are desperate times for all of us
I ordered an Orange Julius at the White House food court
These are desperate times
Kanye baptized forty five in Abraham Lincoln's swimming pool
These are desperate times
A Republican hugged a lesbian and set a Mexican free
These are desperate times for you and me
These are desperate
Awfully desperate
Wicked desperate times