Boy - Envy Lyrics

I think of envy, I think of everything
I think of all the ways to put you in the ground
I think of running from all your Pharisees
I think of poking holes in your bestselling stories
I think of the years we both have wasted
Fighting each other for a small scrap of attention
A small scrap of redemption
The kids in the park far above our angry lives
Scream at the teacher as they gouge each other's eyes
The kids in ghettos, too darkened to be seen
Are erased by the ghosts who hide behind their screens
I erased you that night, but still here in my mind
Your brutal wounds are gone
You're just another crime

Here in the dark I can feel you again
Oh, beat me when I'm down is it happening again
Don't tell me if you're in town
I don't want to remember, remember

The hen and the hawk I watched in the green wood
Grapple and screech just as their mothers told them they should
And as the victor the hawk himself engorged
On all the innocence now spilled out on the floor
And here in my mind, your form and mine
Tearing at each other for a small scrap of supplication
A small scrap of salvation, a warm summer vacation
A f*cking scrap of something

Now in the dark I can hear you again
Just eat me when I'm dead I won't feel anything
Don't tell me if you're still alive
I don't want to remember, remember

But here in my mind I still see you and I
Killing each other for a small scrap of affection
A small scrap of direction, anything for distraction