boygenius - The Record Album Lyrics

Give me everything you've got
I'll take what I can get
I want to hear your story and be a part of it
Thank your father before you
His mother before him
Who would I be without you, without them?

Speak to me, speak to me, speak to me
Until your history's no mystery to me
Talk to me, talk to me, talk to me
Until the words run dry
We'll see eye to eye

I'll give everything I've got
Please, take what I can give
I want you to hear my story and be a part of it
Thank my father before me
His mother before him
Who would I be without you, without them?

It's a bad idea and I'm all about it
Give it one more chance and then I finally had it
When you wake up, I'll be gone again

Motorcycle in the front lawn

It's an all night drive from your house to Reno
To the T-bird graveyard where we play with fire
In another life, we were arsonists

How long's the Chevy been on cinder blocks?

Mama told me that it don't run
On wishes but that I should have fun
Pushing the flowers that come up
Into the front of a shotgun
So many hills to die on

Run out of gas, out of time, out of money
You're doing what you can, just making it run

Take a break, make your escape
There's only so much I can take

May I please have twenty dollars?
Can you give me twenty dollars?
I know you have twenty dollars
I know you have twenty dollars

She's asleep in the backseat
Looking peaceful enough to me
But she's waking up inside a dream
Full of screeching tires and fire
We're coming back from where no one lives
Pretty much just veterans
When I pointed out where the North Star is
She called me a f*cking liar

Emily, I'm sorry I just
Make it up as I go along
And I can feel myself becoming
Someone only you could want

Headed straight for the concrete
In a nightmare, screaming
Now I'm wide awake, spiraling
And you don't want to talk
Just take me back to Montreal
I'll get a real job, you'll go back to school
We can burn out in the freezing cold
And just get lost

Emily, I'm sorry, baby
You know how I get when I'm wrong
And I can feel myself becoming
Somebody I'm not, I'm not, so
Emily, forgive me, can we
Make it up as we go along?
I'm twenty-seven and I don't know who I am
But I know what I want

Emily, I'm sorry
Emily, I'm sorry
I'm sorry

You said you wanted to feel alive
So we went to the beach
You were born in July, '95
In a deadly heat
You say you're a winter bitch
But summer's in your blood
You can't help but become the sun

When you moved to Chicago
You were spinning out
When you don't know who you are
You f*ck around and find out
When you called me from the train
Water freezing in your eyes
You were happy and I wasn't surprised

And it feels good to be known so well
I can't hide from you like I hide from myself

Now you're moving in
Breaking a sweat on your upper lip
And getting pissed about humidity
And the leaky faucet
You already hurt my feelings three times
In the way only you could

But it feels good to be known so well
I can't hide from you like I hide from myself
I remember who I am when I'm with you
Your love is tough, your love is tried and true blue, ooh

You've never done me wrong
Except for that one time
That we don't talk about
Because it doesn't matter anymore
Who won the fight?
I don't know
We're not keeping score

And it feels good to be known so well
I can't hide from you like I hide from myself
I remember who I am when I'm with you
Your love is tough, your love is tried and true blue

Met you at the dive bar to go shoot some pool
And make fun of the cowboys with the neck tattoos
Ask you easy questions about work and school

I'm trying to be cool about it
Feelin' like an absolute fool about it
Wishin' you were kind enough to be cruel about it
Tellin' myself I can always do without it
Knowin' that it probably isn't true

I came prepared for absolution, if you'd only ask
So I take some offense when you say, "No regrets"
I remember it's impossible to pass your test

But I'm trying to forget about it
Feelin' like I'm breaking a sweat about it
Wishin' you would kindly get out of my head about it
Tellin' myself one day I'll forget about it
Knowin' that it probably isn't true

Once, I took your medication to know what it's like
And now I have to act like I can't read your mind
I ask you how you're doing and I let you lie

But we don't have to talk about it
I can walk you home and practice method acting
I'll pretend being with you doesn't feel like drowning
Tellin' you it's nice to see how good you're doing
Even though we know it isn't true

Black hole opened in the kitchen
Every clock's a different time
It would only take the energy to fix it
I don't know why I am

The way I am
Not strong enough to be your man
I tried, I can't
Stop staring at the ceiling fan and
Spinning out about things that haven't happened
Breathing in and out

Drag racing through the canyon
Singing, "Boys Don't Cry"
Do you see us getting scraped up off the pavement?
I don't know why I am

The way I am
Not strong enough to be your man
I lied, I am
Just lowering your expectations
Half a mind that keeps the other second guessing
Close my eyes and count

Always an angel, never a god
Always an angel, never a god
Always an angel, never a god
Always an angel, never a god
Always an angel, never a god
Always an angel, never a god
Always an angel, never a god
Always an angel, never a god
Always an angel, never a god
Always an angel, never a god
Always an angel, never a god
Always an angel, never a god

I don't know why I am the way I am
There's something in the static
I think I've been having revelations
Coming to in the front seat, nearly empty
Skip the exit to our old street and go home
Go home alone

Imaginary friend
You live up in my head
So I've been making music
Since you told me to do it
I just want to know
Who broke your nose
Figure out where they live
So I can kick their teeth in

If it isn't love, then what the f*ck is it?
I guess just let me pretend

I don't want to die
That's a lie
But I'm afraid to get sick
I don't know what that is
You wanted a song
So it's gonna be a short one
Wish I wasn't so tired
But I'm tired

If you're not enough
Then I give up and then nothing is

I used to think if I just closed my eyes
I would disappear

On the on-ramp, you said
"If you love me, you will listen to this song"
And I could tell that you were serious so I
Didn't tell you you were driving the wrong way
On the interstate until the song was done

You felt like an idiot, adding an hour to the drive
But it gave us more time to embarrass ourselves
Telling stories we wouldn't tell anyone else
You said, "I might like you less now that you know me so well"
I might like you less now that you know me so well

Leonard Cohen once said
"There's a crack in everything, that's how the light gets in"
And I am not an old man having an existential crisis
At a Buddhist monastery writing horny poetry
But I agree
I never thought you'd happen to me
I never thought you'd happen to me

Will you be a satanist with me?
Mortgage off your soul to buy your dream
Vacation home in Florida
The collateral the devil's repossessing from me
Trying to score some off-brand ecstasy

Will you be an anarchist with me?
Sleep in cars and kill the bourgeoisie
At least until you find out what a fake I am
Spray-paint my initials on an ATM
I'd burn my cash and smash my old TV

Will you be a nihilist with me?
If nothing matters, man, that's a relief
Solomon had a point when he wrote Ecclesiastes
If nothing can be known, then stupidity is holy
If the void becomes a bore, we'll treat ourselves to some self-belief

(Oh, you know what I should do?)

You wonder
If you can even be seen
From so far away
A slow pull, a seismic drift
Leaning over the edge of the continent
It's so hard to come back
You hang on until it drags
You under
You under
You under
You under

You could absolutely break my heart
That's how I know that we're in love
I don't need the symbol of a scar
So put down the knife
We're not swapping blood

Isn't it enough
That we stripped down to our skin?
Cold and porcelain
Like bathers in a painting
And I told you of your past lives, every man you've ever been
It wasn't flattering
But you listened like it mattered

I feel crazy in ways I never say
Will you still love me if it turns out I'm insane?
I know what you'll say
But it helps to hear you say it, anyway

Some October, in the future, I'll run out of trash TV
And I'll be feeling lonely
So I'll walk to karaoke
Sing the song you wrote about me, never once checking the words
I hope that no one sings along
I hope that I am not a regular

Damn, that makes me sad
It doesn't have to be like that
If you rewrite your life, may I still play a part?

In the next one, will you find me?
I'll be the boy with the pink carnation pinned to my lapel
Who looks like hell and asks for help
And if you do, I'll know it's you

I can't imagine you without
The same smile in your eyes
There is something about you
That I will always recognize
And if you don't remember
I will try to remind you
Of the hummingbirds
You know the ones
And the baby scorpion
And the winter lunar halo
And the walk we took in the Redwoods
I could go on and on and on and I will
Go on and on and on until
It all comes back

Getting deep
I'm out of my depth at a public beach
I never listened, I had to see for myself
It's coming in waves
Shoots through my mind like a pinball straight
Friendly fire, point blank

Salt in my lungs
Holding my breath
Making peace with my inevitable death

I guess I did alright, considering
Tried to be a halfway decent friend
Wound up a bad comedian
An honest fool with more bad habits than you can count

There we were
Was anyone ever so young?
Breaking curfew with illegal fireworks
Unpacking God in the suburbs

I'm swimming back

See, you don't have to make it bad
Just 'cause you know how

Writing the words
To the worst love song you've ever heard
Sounding out the foreign characters
An incantation like an anti-curse
Or even a blessing

I said I think that you're special
You told me once that I'm selfish
And I kissed you hard
In the dark
In the closet

You said my music is mellow
Maybe I'm just exhausted
You think you're a good person
Because you won't punch me in the stomach

And I love you
I don't know why
I just do

But you're not special, you're evil
You don't get to tell me to calm down
You made me feel like an equal
But I'm better than you and you should know that by now

When you fell down the stairs
It looked like it hurt and I wasn't sorry
I should've left you right there
With your hostages, my heart and my car keys
You don't know me

I wanna be happy
I'm ready
To walk into my room without looking for you
I'll go up to the top of our building
And remember my dog when I see the full moon

I can't feel it yet
But I am waiting