I didn't think I'd need to brush my teeth
Til they up and fell right outta me
And my collection of cavities from needle pricks for pain to ease
I'll get dentures by my midlife crisis, gingivitis strong, I never knew I'd have to care
I can't believe that I've lived this long
I didn't think to audit my carbohydrate intake
I got adjusted to the sour stomach from the years of trash I ate
I got sluggish blood, now it's too late, my heart's been beating wrong
I don't believe it's come to this, I never knew that I'd live this long
I didn't think I'd have to save my lungs for when I got done being a punk
And so now I cough a ton, whooping sputters aren't so much fun
But I guess that's what I get for years of living out of a bong
I didn't think of growing up, I didn't think that I'd live that long
I didn't think I'd have to save my cash, I thought myself too smart for that
If I went broke, so what, I would just pack my stuff
I'd go back on home and I'd live with my Dad to piss him off for five more years
While I bend our brittle bond, I never thought I'd want a roof
I never knew that I'd live this long
I didn't think I'd have to treat my friends like I could love them straight on to the end
Cause I always thought it would be once they saw my real life
All that strife I was bound up in then
But since I've smacked myself I've seen the joy my life has drawn
And I finally think I've come around, awful glad that I've lived this long