Meet with a guy so you can buy a Stackhat off of Gumtree
Act real sly, haggle and try to make an offer real cheap
But he's not understanding cause what he was demanding was a twenty, not a penny less
He doesn't appreciate attempts to communicate, he grabs your shirt and says
I'm not your mate, mate
At Subway and you're sayin', "Hey, put some pickles on my footlong"
She says, "Yes, and what will you have next?" but only put literally three on
You say, "Hey please excuse me, are you listenin' to me? Cause your pickle hand is fickle as hell"
She says, "You get what you get, mate, and you don't get upset"
You spit your Slurpee out and yell
I'm not your mate, mate
You hear a loud noise outside while you're trying to sleep, it's f*ckin' late
And then some drunken bogan comes along, a-crashin' through the gate
Stumbles on your front porch, puffs his durry, says, "Excuse me mate"
I said, "I'm not"
"You're not what?"
I'm not your f*ckin' mate
No (no) (no) (no) (no) (no) (no) (no) (no) (no) (no) (no)
We could've been best friends, we coulda got along
When you came over to my place, you broke my best bong
And you still won't accept responsibility for the break
So I'm telling you at this rate
I'm not your mate, mate