Bryant Tench - M.C.T. Lyrics

Well back in my younger and more foolish days
I had my share of wild escapades
But nothing like my night at the Playhouse Gentlemen's Club
I figure that was its proper name, as its owners saw it
But the Mountain City Titty's all the locals'd call it
Which one's more fittin'? Well, you can listen and be the judge
My buddy had a Mazda, man, that'd thing fly
A little beer can RX-7, it's a wonder we didn't die
Burnin' up those mountain roads, chasin' love, liquor, and sin
Well, he wound her up, and we headed north
I reckon me and good judgment had long been divorced
In a curve on two wheels, he saw it and swung her on in
It was long about then that my good feelin' faded
It weren't more than a double-wide, dented and dated
I said, "Hey, man, come on, let's go home
I think I've seen enough"
Well, he just shook his head and pointed to a sign
Said, "The still's broken, boys, bring your own shine
But don't worry, we got plenty of jugs"
He said, "Ain't no one sayin' that it's pretty
But it's always a pretty damn good time
At that Mountain City Titty
Right on 'cross that old Rabun County line"
The man at the door said, "Boy, you got a knife"
I said, "No, sir, no, swear on my life"
He said, "Well, you better go back outside and get you one"
So I went back out to the car and I found my buddy's Barlow
It was almost five inches in the way that blades would go
Hell, if I'd have known what was comin
I'd have kept out there lookin' for his gun
The cover, it was three dollars, it was cheaper than sin
Figured they kept it that low to keep the riff-raff in
I sat down at a table, saw somethin' I wished I could forget
There were four unmatched breasts right in front of me
One girl, she was an A, B, the other a C and a D
As they bounced side by side, I couldn't help but singin' the alphabet
And another old gal, she was doin' somethin' on stage
Seemed like maybe George Wallace was the last guy she'd laid
She had a trick with the roll of quarters that's best not explained
There were a couple old fellas, they were shootin' pool in the back
One gave her a dollar while the other one racked
And damn, without usin' her hands, she made him his change
She said
"Ain't no one sayin' that it's pretty
But it's always a pretty damn good time
At that Mountain City Titty
Right on 'cross that old Rabun County line"
Quarters, she said to my buddy
"You a doctor? You a soldier
I can tell by your style, boy, you a high roller"
She asked him if he didn't wanna go back to the VIP closet with her
He politely declined, said that he had the clap
She just smiled and gave her old lips a smack
She said, "Hell, son, there ain't nothin' that laughter and corn liquor can't cure"
I knew with medical facts that he wouldn't get too far
So I sat down, ordered up another cold PBR
And watched them old boys in back
Shootin' their pool
And there across the room, I couldn't trust my sight
A thin pale angel in the shadow and light
Wearin' nothin' but neon
She was a vision, knocked me plumb off my stool
And I couldn't wait, so I walked on over
When she leaned down, I said, I'd like to know her
Could I buy her a drink whenever she finished her song
Well, she just nodded and smiled and to my disbelief
That poor girl, she had more fingers than teeth
And 'round about then, I noticed one of her pinkies was gone
Ain't no one sayin' that it's pretty
But it's always a pretty damn good time
At that Mountain City Titty
Right on 'cross that old Rabun County line
She said, "My name's Candy," and I had to repent
When I thought to myself, "Hell, that's the way your teeth went"
But she was a nice enough girl as she sat there sippin' on her pink wine
But then her face changed as she looked at the door
"Oh God, it's my ex," he was 6'6", maybe more
She said, "His name's Hoss, and he's sort of the jealous kind"
And with her eyes, she motioned toward the back door
Pulled me under the table and we crawled 'cross the floor
And in the back parking lot, who do you reckon I'd find
Quarters was sittin' on the hood of a truck
But she took the paint off when she stood up
My buddy said, "Damn girl, that ain't the kind of strippin' that we had in mind"
And Hoss, he rounded the corner, he was breathin' real heavy
His face got red when he saw his Chevy
I turned around and realized I was standin' alone
Hoss had a snake's eyes and his boot tips were steel
Each time he breathed out, it was like a paper mill
"Well boy, I reckon this is the end of your road"
And I knew what was comin', so I closed my eyes
I was already mournin' my mama'd find out where I died
Cuss-prayin' I stood waitin' on that first and final blow
But then in a haze of fumes and gravel, my buddy pulled up
Slung his car door open, hit Hoss in the nuts
I dove clean over his hood and right through the passenger window
And we were doin' 110 down 441 South
And until this very moment, I never opened my mouth
About the peril and wonders of that now infamous evening
My buddy, he's a congressman, deals cards on the side
Me, I pick guitar around here most nights
Just tellin' my stories to anyone who might believe them
I guess you oughta know the Titty shut down
They turned it into a church and later a pound
And a karaoke bar before it was finally finished
And Quarters works a toll booth on some highway
The Alphabet Twins, they balanced their lives some way
And I'm glad to say sweet Candy, married her a dentist
Ain't no one sayin' that it's pretty
But it's always a pretty damn good time
At that Mountain City Titty
Right on 'cross that old Rabun County line
Ain't no one sayin' that it's pretty
But it's always a pretty damn good time
At that Mountain City Titty
Right on 'cross that old Rabun County line