Captains of the Head - Grosse Pointe Perch Lyrics

Have you heard the one about the Grosse Pointe perch?
It's long and white and it swims all night
You never want to catch yourself a Grosse Pointe perch

Twas late one night
'Bout half past twelve
I popped into a drugstore and took it off the shelf
Slipped that rubber on my dingus
When my lady asked for penis
So I wouldn't make no babies when I ringed her bell

I humped and pumped
Til my battleship was sunk
I filled that scumbag with a healthy dose of spunk
When the deed was done
I quickly made a run
To send it Downriver when I flushed the thunderjug

Grosse Pointe perch
Grosse Pointe perch
Have you heard the one about the Grosse Pointe perch?
It's long and white and it swims all night
You never want to catch yourself a Grosse Pointe perch

That morning came a fisherman
The big one in his sights
He went to catch his dinner down by the riverside
With his hook in the water
His good eye on the bobber
He waited for the big one to tug his line

After about an hour
The pole began to jerk
T'was reeling in the big one with a little bit of work
The fish put up no fight
And soon he would know why
That fisherman had caught my Grosse Pointe Perch

Now the Grosse Pointe Perch
Goes by many different names
A Coney Island Whitefish will make you feel the same
A Chesapeake Cod
Might feel good on your rod
But if you get one on your hook you'll die from shame

Grosse Pointe perch
Grosse Pointe perch
Have you heard the one about the Grosse Pointe perch?
It's long and white and it swims all night
You never want to catch yourself a Grosse Pointe perch

A Grosse Pointe Perch ain't meant to be filet'd
You can't make caviar from the eggs it lays
Don't poach, smoke it, and certainly don't poke it
Just throw it in the river and let it swim away

Grosse Pointe perch
Grosse Pointe perch
This is the one about the Grosse Pointe perch
It's long and white and it swims all night
You never want to catch yourself a Grosse Pointe perch