Apothecary Video (MV)

Help
I've got a lot of repressed thoughts I wish I'd forget
Wish I'd forget
Wish I'd forget
Why won't I forget?
So please don't f*cking tell me
My life's been such a breeze, I should be fine
No, please don't ignore the decade of work put in myself
I know I may appear as a calm, collected soul
It's not long ago I spent my years with doubt and felt alone
I got lost in fear and it felt like home
I had no identity and six years flew by wondering just how anyone could value me
I felt pathetic, like everyone agreed but never said it
So then I tried
For the first time in my life I finally tried
Help
I've got a lot of repressed thoughts I wish I'd forget
Wish I'd forget
Wish I'd forget
Why won't I forget?
So please don't f*cking tell me
So I tried
And so I tried
And so I tried
Quit feeling sorry for myself and
Forced the brain
To mend the pain
No therapy
Shouldn't have done it on my own
Get a piece of how they will treat you
Chalk up everything to good luck and work prudes
I know that I'm profoundly privileged
How does this diminish the darkness
The mental imprisonment I lived in unwillingly for years
I thought I'd wake up
I thought I'd have gotten past those dark feelings by now
Now they manifest in different ways
The way I wait for days
Uncertainty, discomfort and disconnection
On and on and on
On and on it still all feels the same
So wait, while I gather old words
While I light them up to sit and watch them burn
So, farewell