Pathetic Video (MV)

Nevermind who ya thought i was
Nevermind what everyone's saying cos they talk a lot
I fought for all that I got and I'm still at war now
I'm begging for it all to stop before I finna fall down
Spending time tryna talk to god
Spending time tryna be alone check the doors are locked
Cant walk it off really I feel like I'm paralytic
Even though I'm young and well I know that's sounding quite pathetic
Hypothetically if I was anyone but cheffa
Would I struggle with depression would my life
Look better?
Huh?
I try to get up but I'm stuck in sleep paralysis
Analysis determines I should die and neck up
Tally all up on the wall how long I've been here for
I'm searching for an exit spinning round but haven't seen a door
I'm getting bored bouncing off the padding like an addict
And I must be high or dreaming cos my feet can't even feel the floor
Dear future me if you're alive I really hope your chins up
I hope you're healing, moving on from all the trials and kid stuff
Cos how I am right now I feel like that could never be with everything that's happened youd should end it bet you're still a shit cunt
The gigs up and now it's back to my ridiculous life
I get home from my performance then I sit and just cry
It isn't right I should be out and celebrating
But I'm hyperventilating from the shit in my mind
Nevermind who ya thought i was
Nevermind what everyone's saying cos they talk a lot
I fought for all that I got and I'm still at war now
I'm begging for it all to stop before I finna fall down
Spending time tryna talk to god
Spending time tryna be alone check the doors are locked
Cant walk it off really I feel like I'm paralytic
Even though I'm young and well I know that's sounding quite pathetic
I've done shit I regret the memory follows me through the storm
Copping randoms lefts from life and I was never warned
Never thought that I'd ever get where I'm headed for
But I'm stepping forward slowly only at level 4
Or maybe 2 or 3
Level 1 was losing my mum when I was a teen
Still went to school got on the bus with cup of lean
I would run and try to numb all the trauma and all the grief
But without luck the clouds cover up all my light
Try to see the sun but there's something f*cking my sight
I wonder why everything tryna eat me all at once
It's No fun now I'm crying I wish that I was a tougher guy
I'm backstage chucking up f*cking butterflies
How am I meant to go out and tell 'em that I'd rather die
I need connection. I hope that they get the message but I'm a nervous wreck I won't come out till I'm drunk and high
Nevermind who ya thought i was
Nevermind what everyone's saying cos they talk a lot
I fought for all that I got and I'm still at war now
I'm begging for it all to stop before I finna fall down
Spending time tryna talk to god
Spending time tryna be alone check the doors are locked
Cant walk it off really I feel like I'm paralytic
Even though I'm young and well I know that's sounding quite pathetic