Christxphvr - dark solace Lyrics

Reaper on the beat, uh hehe
Run that shit up nn-fi
Christxphvr
Yo

I thought this was bliss but it's honestly not
I'm just alone with my thoughts
I'm stuck in the dark and I want it to stop
But the light of the day's always pissing me off
But I made a choice
I did the shit that I did
I love the way that I live
But I hate the way that I lie alone in my bed because sleeping without her just feels like a sin
But I'm not a sim
No one is pulling my strings
I'm my own god and I feel like a king
It's narcissistic but masochistic because I suffer when I think about it
And to my pain I'm a simp
I drain while I wish
I'm just so sick of this shit
But I'm talking the cap on the ship
I care more about drip even when I'm gon dip
And I'm looking good when I'm feeling like shit
And I wanna make an empty void in my mind
But there's an empty void in the space and the time
And I'm tryna survive
But wasting my day away feels like I'm just wasting my life
Every night I'm up 'til 5
Alone in the dark I feel alive
When I'm in solace I feel I can try

Out of her arms I don't wanna cry
Out of her arms I don't wanna die
I just wanna look in her eyes and feel alright
Yo
She doesn't count when I say I need my space
Dark solace with her is where I'm most at peace
My numbers going up so I hope they hold pace
I've put in all this time so I wanna get a place
But I'm still in the basement

So far 2023 wasn't what I wanted it to be
Spent all of my time now i'm out 365 reasons why I never caved
And I wish I never stayed
Slap to my face, man, I feel like Nick Cage
Etched in my skin got me feeling engraved
Pedal to the metal kept me stuck in the in cage
Tryna mould it like Play-Doh but I'm stuck in his cave
I can't dream the other side when I'm tryna get paid
Like working everyday just makes the weeks fly away
Yeah
That's why it's November
Wish I could take it back to March but I can't remember
How the steps go
More than 12 for my mental
I let go
That's that number 2 like a pencil
Popping up in my rear like an endo
I just want this year to end though
I wrote this quick on my lunch break
Before I go back in the dunk tank
Getting flash backs to police coming home from the drunk tank
Had him sleep up in the basement so I couldn't drop mukbangs
But now I got plates on plates
Except none of its finished 'cause the homies take days on days before they send it
And I'll quit pretending that I don't care
I wish that I didn't but my part's finished and their thumbs are twiddlin'
But maybe I'm trippin
Maybe it's different
It sucks being gifted when nobody's giving
It suck's always driving when nobody's driven
Kay, see undercover with the RayBands on my nightstand
Always use my right hand when I'm gripping the mic stand
So I might stand

But I'll probably take a seat
'Cause I'm so f*cking sick of always standing on my feet
But I can't bring myself to ever drop down on my knees
Only 1 for her but that shit is not free
Not for me
'Cause she's a queen

So give me streams, yeah
So we can make money
You think that I'm joking because I'm tryna be funny
You hear me scream: "yeah"
And watch me dance like dummy
We need food in our tummies
That's a wrap like a mummy

Dark solace is bliss
Yo, it honestly is
Emo boy and goth girl
Yeah, we know we're the shit
And we're staying at home
Playing games on our own
That's the life we wanna live
We're together alone

Yeah