Clizz - Only Natural Lyrics

I wonder who the f*ck is watching me
If you looking everything ain't even really what it seems
I've been pinching pennies just to buy some different groceries
Try my best to stay out of the hole I dug with luxuries
Ain't it supposed be
Something pretty hopefully
I might actually go through with it and grip the rosary
I'm still that same motherf*cker with compulsive dreams
ADD is keeping me from finishing the broken things
Fix it all I wish I could
If I fall my kids are good
Just make sure the package sent
Make it look like accident
If it's not they won't get paid
Frantic thinking yesterday
If I die before I wake
Pray that Jesus stays away
I just need some f*cking peace
Maybe flee the country
Maybe I could find a cliff and see if these are broken wings
Not saying this to get someone to cry to for me
This the shit that keeps me sane my suicidal diary
Not saying I'm gonna do it
But if I did how would i do it
Imma spin the wheel and let my karma choose it
It's only natural to plan before I lose it
If they found me hanging with a note I think they'd probably flip
If it weren't so messy then I'd probably slit my skinny wrists
Irony would have me overdose I'll never give them that
The only thing that's keeping me from dying is the aftermath
I'm not the only one who's ever thought about it
I know that things can look so dark I don't leave home without it
Got a shadow looming over me I'm racking mileage
Maybe beat it to the punch would that be actin childish
But he looks so f*cking happy man he's always smiling
Yeah I know I've got some practice always hide behind it
But if you look into my eyes there ain't a light inside em
My life is full of wrongs I do my best to right em
I'm just a man that's on a mission
I might close the f*cking door and put the keys in the ignition
Man It's hard enough to breath when this depression starts to itch then
Imma find death, give that slutty bitch a couple kisses
Not saying I'm gonna do it
But if I did how would i do it
Imma spin the wheel and let my karma choose it
It's only natural to plan before I lose it