Blacklodge Video (MV)

I couldn't believe it
You came into my, left me there ... speechless
I'm messed with, breathless, effectless
I knew that this was the real thing, you connected to the real to me
I had to take it- and grab it
I couldn't betray it, I had it decided: you were realer than truth
But I'm f*cked-- man, I'm a savage
I couldn't understand it
I left you here, un-planned it
I couldn't tell what it would mean if I was to become this scandalous
Here I am, I left ya. broken
Ignored ya, left ya there so lonesome
Left without a place
And I'm stuck in my mind without a space
With my life's selfish ways
Why can't I get a taste
What it means to be whole
What it means to be real
All the things you gave me
All it felt unobtainable
But I am here and
I can't pretend
I knew that this
Would lead to the end
But I still just chased the moment
I chased the lie, sincerely
Doing whatever felt right
In the time, I just had to be alive
Cuz you got inside "us"
I faded cuz your grimeness
I may say it cuz we got this
Cuz you knew how crafty I was
And I fronted with you
Cuz you see yourself with me in the dreams
But I f*ck it up- I had to have the wealth
And I had- to have the dreams
And I had- I had what seems to be the way
And I can't undo this
I said that you were to be the one
But I can't understand what it means to be alone
And I'm stuck and now I can't find where I'm suppose to go
Suppose to go (Where the f*ck I'm suppose to go)

It was bittersweet
The way you looked into my eyes
The way you said you loved me
I loved the way that you would lie
And so
Here it goes
You tell me
You know it's a show
And it's time that you must go
And all I can do is respect that
And I get that
I accept that
But I can't seem to let go of the feelings that
Initiated this whole trap
And I know you can feel that
And so once again, we relapse
You feel the space you hear the pain
The space between... my words
The words I'm hoping you'll still hear me say, hear me say
But for some reason you're still standing by me
I think you get it
That I'm more complicated than I'm aware of
But what can I offer
If my life's a lie, and I can't decide
Who I am, no matter what I try
Why don't you mind
Why don't you mind
That I'm falling apart, and loving it here
Loving life at the bottom
Doing everything that might make you scared
Growing so far apart
While you're so far away
And so I wait and so I wait
For what seems unobtainable
Some something so unobtainable
For what seems unobtainable
Some something so unobtainable

And so I waited and so I wait