There's an adage older than grandma
That says "let sleeping dogs lie"
And another one that stoners started
That says "life's better when you're high"
There's some bullshit some parents made up
That says the only limit's the sky
But there's only one wish Make-a-Wish can't grant
And that's that you won't die
I can't count all the times she said
"No you can't take your penguin with you"
Or all the times that I replied
"But we're going to the zoo"
Nor can I count all the things
That that poor penguin got into
But the last thing that I'll ever learn
Is that a penguin can't cure you
I can't take him out
With me to the store
And a stupid penguin can't
Help you with your chores
So I'm stuck with this thing
For all my final days
So now all I can do is hope
That he can learn to dig a grave
So let this be a lesson to all
When you learn you've got a month to live
When the doctor strolls in
And asks you for your last wish
Don't just say the first thing that springs to mind
'Cause you just might get it
And that's how I ended up
With this stupid worthless penguin