Have you met my friend Henry,
Have you met my friend Sam
One's long and lean
One's short and mean
Known quite well across this land
Have you heard my friend Henry
Have you heard my friend Sam
One's low and barks
One's quick and sharp
Known quite well across this land
I'd be dead if not for Henry
I'd be dead if not for Sam
They've spoke with those
Who've stood opposed
To the way I deal
The way I am
Grown to dislike my friend henry
Grown to despise my friend Sam
Too many times
I've lost my mind
And felt them in my trembling hands.