Confused - The Next In A Long Line Of Irresponsible Musings (Unmixed, Unmastered & Unloved) Lyrics

This is the place where I was conceived
As mummy gave in to daddy's time of need
Was I a gift, a blessing or goodwill
Or was I because mummy didn't take the pill
This is the house where I spent my first year
Learning to crawl away from what sent me here
I recovered well after my three day nap
And sorry mummy for giving you a heart attack
Daddy, he moved away to this big waste
While I lived with mummy at her parents place
And we still saw each other all the time
And daddy earned lots of money, so that's fine
Cos daddy took all his money and brought this gaff
We invented Cousin's Sunday and had some laughs
And even though we had the neighbours from hell
They're no longer our problem, so I wish them well
Then we moved to somewhere we could settle down
A quiet place in a very rural town
There's plenty of rooms where we play hide and seek
And the garden at the back goes on for weeks
Dad, he works away in London town
But he's home on his days off to sort mum out
And it's nice that we have always got each other
The only thing missing now is a sister or brother
I'd like to show them places that we've been
From Scotland to Isle of Wight, the best of scenes
We travel to most of them by choo-choo train
And I hope to do it with them all over again
Mum, she's got a new car to take us places
Like Cornwall caravans and big sheep races
And if you were wondering why I did this chant
Well, it's basically to tell you that mum's pregnant