ContraVein - Thoughts Lyrics

From the moment I first took up this stupid rap game as my hobby
I knew it wouldn't work and that all my friends would think I'm snobby
I wanted to make some music that people could vibe to
But instead I cam off as a little piece of shit who tries to
Hard to get my music out there and become a celebrity
Trynna rhymes this with that and doing it pathetically
I'm trynna write this song while also keeping my integrity
But paying attention to my words right now for you is a necessity
My promise to you is that this song ain't about self-pity
I can't deal with my own feelings so music is my remedy
People hating on my music so I talk to them defensively
My friends ain't even my supporters so I talk to them aggressively
I'm doing what I can without taking this too seriously
Social life and school, and rapping simultaneously
I know that rapping talent doesn't come instantaneously
Which is why y'all were confused when I started this spontaneously
Music is my lifestyle and rapping is my outlet
I'm trying to confess but I can't let my demons out yet
I'm going through these times but you don't comprehend how blessed
I really am but support, I can't live without it
My inner thoughts me telling me all this scary shit
I'm in love with the game but I can't marry it
My body's shutting down and I can't carry it
I don't wanna die I just wanna bury it
I don't want to sell my soul to the industry
I just want to live in peace and harmony
I don't want to sell my soul to the industry
I just want to live in peace and harmony
Living day-to-day like I got a terminal illness
I ain't being gay when I say that you should feel this
I'm talking bout my songs that are always filled with realness
Cuz when I'm on the track, you know I always kill this
But when I say shit like that it sounds like I'm too involved
When I got depressed cuz of the hate it was you I called
ADHD f*cking up my brain, messing with my rhymes
Every time I write, why does it do it all the time?
Can you please tell me why you're doing this to me?
I wanna be free, but the past is catching up with my
I lie awake at night with my mind just like a NASCAR
Every now and then I wish for it to crash hard
And I'm thinking I don't wanna do this life thing anymore, yeah
All I think about is you and how I didn't want to annoy yah
I wanted to give you my love but to you it was a ploy yeah
Now I sit in fear, always filled with shitty paranoia
I don't want to sell my soul to the industry
I just want to live in peace and harmony
I don't want to sell my soul to the industry
I just want to live in peace and harmony