[ Featuring Jonathan Hempstead ]
I ain't no doormat, but here's a friendly tip,
When you step into my pad, make sure your shoes don't slip.
It's not just mud you're dragging, but stories from the street,
Leave those dirty soles at the door, come in bare feet.
Take off your f*cking shoes when you come into my house,
Don't need no dirty tracks, while we're chilling on the couch.
It's not just about the carpet, it's about respect, you see,
So kick off those damn sneakers, and let your toes be free.
I've seen things on your Nikes, that I can't unsee,
Like gum, dog shit, and remnants of last week's party.
This ain't no barnyard, nor some filthy alley,
It's my sanctuary, so let's not dally.
Take off your f*cking shoes when you come into my house,
Keep those filthy paws off my Persian rugs, don't be a louse.
Respect my space, you'll see, it's really not that tough,
Shoes off, my friend, or kindly, just f*ck off.
Look, I'm not uptight, just like to keep it clean,
This rule is golden here, don't treat it like it's mean.
Remember that one time, you left a skid? What a fright!
Took me three damn weeks, to set that horror right.
So next time you're over, remember this funky tune,
Drop those boots at the door, or you'll be leaving soon.
Take off your f*cking shoes when you come into my house,
I've got this thing for floors, as clean as a mouse.
Let's keep the dirt outside, where all the mess can roam,
Inside here, it's polish and peace, in my funky home.
