Just ignore it, push this aside day after day
Now it's my pleasure to be ripping your awareness my way
Live it up, live it up until you can't live down the things you say
Disregard your own beating heart and keep on running anyway
Oh yeah, it's fine, it's probably for the best
Let me just quickly tell that to the burning feeling inside my chest
Lord knows I always planned on being suddenly abandoned
They say it's better to love and lose so I guess I'm truly blessed
Oh please, leave me down here where you found me
Let me get to my self-righteous agony
Let me seethe in this self-aggrandizing misery
Let me grieve for who I think I used to be
Turning my obsession back inward
With my intention so savagely injured
Will I pretend that I know better? Can I go on like this forever?
Can I convince myself that what I want is all that I need?
Why am I willing to burn for this? Why do I let myself bleed?
It sure is nice to finally know that I was wrong all along
I guess this chaotic mess is the way that things belong
Never letting attention show but smouldering with mutual disgust
You keep letting the tension grow and I'll keep grinding these goddamned teeth to dust
Howling ghosts of quiet moments shattering my dreams
Waking in an empty room still echoing with the screams
Writhing in this inexorably melodramatic agony
Holding it all back, just like you taught me
Will I pretend that I know better? Can I go on like this forever?
Can I convince myself that what I want is all that I need?
Why am I willing to burn for this? Why do I let myself bleed?
Glancing back over your shoulder with the sympathy you assert
Pity pumps through the heart of the beholder while I draw my masterpiece right here in the dirt
But I'm still so grateful to be here and for the hideous hunger that animates me
When I rise, my wretched work will scar this wasteland as far as your vacant can see
Of course the first thing in life that I didn't have to question
Would lead me indefinitely in this dismal direction
I've swallowed my pride and my bitter affection
But I can't even trust my own haggard reflection
I never asked for
This distraction
Or these irrelevant
Over-reactions
I know we both
Have a lot
Left to say
And I hope that some day we can talk about it over some coffee