Goodbye... Video (MV)

I can properly admit
That I probably took it too far
Engaged in obsessions I barely held you up
And I feel like I've fallen so far
Several days sitting on the mic
I realized I might be pressing my luck
Stuck in a fantasy
I send you a link to my tape and block you
Never again have to spot your tragedies
And the fact that you moving on too quickly for me
Maybe I just wanna lash out
And see you listen to twenty f*cking minutes of me audibly bashing ya
Honestly I loved you though
Scared of looking back at your name or the songs you sent me
I purged your messages faster than a cleansing
And bury my rage in songs of hard heart as I fall apart
Honestly I miss you though
Stuck in pristine visions of the fact that I would've been in the tropics
Getting down on one and proposing endless love and solitude
Instead I sit alone and pretend that I f*cking hate you
I'm just scared of the fact that my family f*cking hates me
And I'll never get to hold you again
But you gone in the wind
And now I'm holding on to tiny dust particles and fragments of memories you left behind
I pray that one day I get up and move along or I'll fall back into your arms
Or this ring was for f*cking nothing
I said it before and ill repeat one more time
Please save me
I'm barely swimming and sinking fast
And the captain has frozen and I'm stuck in the cabin
And I'm scared to say goodbye cause frankly I'm scared of drowning
I'm scared of falling into substances that get me sinking faster
Or walking into another to stop thoughts from invading
While I hide all the things only you knew
Cause really it felt like you knew me
But now it feels like I never really knew you
I wasn't my best self and I guess its caught up to me
And now the remains of my promise are scattered across the Cuban shore
One day
I said it before and I'll repeat one more time
Please save me