In My Head Video (MV)

Don't dive too deep yet
Untold stories from a young vet
Get ready for the let go
Life hit fast
I took things slow
I was seven years old when I lost all hope
Who really knows why we feel alone
When people are all around us
I was bound up
Couldn't show emotion
Because that might open
The flood gates
To all the pain I had buried away
My life turned upside down the day
The S.W.A.T. team turned my house upside down during the raid
M4A1s flashed right in my face
What could I say
What could I do
Worst news
One of two middle children
Three younger siblings
I wonder how they're feeling
I wonder if they understand what's really going on
And I wonder if they know now we're in a marathon
It's a long game
Never brought it up
Selfish this is my pain
This is my burden
I wouldn't wish it for anyone else
Still need help
Can't do it by myself
Traumatized
Kids don't want to hear their father lie
So I never asked why and I never inquired
Pissed off
One look in momma's eyes and it made me want to cry
I was fed up
Too much going on in my head
It wouldn't let up
I would tell jokes
Share laughs with my brothers and sisters
Helps to distract me as my thoughts grew sicker and
Who could I talk to
Which child you knew went through the same and wants to talk too
Most kids don't think so deep
Why would I bother mom
She could use some sleep
Works harder than ever with six kids to raise
Child services coming by the crib some days
Make sure the house clean and you're well behaved
Because who wants to be taken away