I'm tired of the waiting
The pins and needles
The hating of subliminal behaviors
My only savior the backs of those I depend on
Pretending none of this means anything
While everything I seem to miss I greet with a laugh
And a smile on my face hoping I can get myself out of this place
I know my blood is thick but I've been taking meds
To thin and dillute every part of who I am
And I always feel like I'm unworthy of everything that you've been
Telling little fibs to myself that none of this counts
But not every ounce of me believes I'm who I should be
And it's hard to cry wolf when you're both the boy and the sheep
I'm not gonna break because I've already shattered
Expectations of disappointment to prove that I mattered
And the worst part is knowing that I'll do it again
And the meaningless excuses I give to my dearest friends
The depths of my depression know no bounds
Hell, I'll leave and take you with me
I'm already starting to drown
There's only so much you can put inside my cup
Sometimes the void in me makes me want to give up