Dead/Awake - The End Lyrics

Buckle under the weight of my soul
Succumb to things that I can't control
Falling apart slowly at the seams
Deaf ears are listening to my screams
Everything seems to have lost its feel
Losing grip of what I thought was real
Cant remember when I felt alive
This feeling is so damn hard to describe
No matter how f*cking hard I try
I feel dead inside where I lie
Awake at night trapped in my own head
Grab the gun and prepare for the end
It took me decades but now I see
That the world has nothing left that it can offer me
I beg for death
I need to find my peace
I take my last breath
I envy the deceased
Grab the pistol from my dresser drawer
Tears are falling I get on the floor
Make sure that I locked the bedroom door
Note that says I can't take any more
Shake as my hand slowly feels the steel
Thoughts of how my family will feel
Know that I have so much left to do
Thoughts of perspective are coming through
Lay the pistol down at my side
Tired of finding ways I can hide
Deciding now I don't want to run
Someday I swear I will see the sun
I won't let it take me
I won't let it take me
I won't let it take me
I won't let it take me