De'juan - Things Inside Lyrics

I've been dealing with some things inside
Say I love you but I always lie
Think I get it from my pops, but that's no excuse
Gave me many chances, now you throw the deuce
I don't even blame you, I would do the same thing
No accountability, gotta grow up one day
Said I gotta grow up one day
Would you wait for me

Every time I have a problem, I'm blaming other people
Looking in the mirror
Honestly my soul is see through
Don't know what I see
What the f*ck have I become
Treat my girl like shit
And my nigga on the run
I been rude to my mom
I been rude to my grams
Funerals only time I see my dad
What the f*ck is going on
Man we use to be a fam
Taking trips to Wonderland
Best times in the past
Who's to blame, where's the change
I'm broke with a dream
Tryna be like rappers that I see on the screen
Are they happy Is it a facade
I'm talking to the beat but really this is me and God
Open conversations, heart racing
Treat my people poorly
Needing changes
Tryna do better where's the demonstration
I don't wanna be alone when I make it

I've been dealing with some things inside
Say I love you but I always lie
Think I get it from my pops, but that's no excuse
Gave me many chances, now you throw the deuce
I don't even blame you, I would do the same thing
No accountability, gotta grow up one day
Said I gotta grow up one day
Would you wait for me

Self centered I've been focused on this rap shit
Smoking all this gas, acting like I'm fantastic
Sacrifice my girl when I knew she was the one
Not a lot of options where I'm from
Lotta hoes
When we got together struck a pot gold
I know I let you down
Told you I would never fold
We should grow old
Till we 95
Probably lied to you like 90 times
Something wrong with me, demons take control of me
I don't even notice me
I'm f*cked up can you see
I just wanna make it
But I wanna bring you with me
Hope you will forgive me
For my transgressions
My mind is the saviour
My mind is the weapon
Back at St Aidan they would throw me in detention
Saw a better life ever since I was a kid
But I'm most happy when I reminisce

I've been dealing with some things inside
Say I love you but I always lie
Think I get it from my pops, but that's no excuse
Gave me many chances, now you throw the deuce
I don't even blame you, I would do the same thing
No accountability, gotta grow up one day
Said I gotta grow up one day
Would you wait for me

I've been dealing with some pain inside
I've been dealing with some pain inside
Will you help me
Will you stay
Through the pain
Oh, Oh