[ Featuring David Tomlinson ]
Oh, it really doesn't matter what I do, what I do
As long as I do it with a flair
What effect a little smoke is with a dash of hocus pocus
And the scent of burning sulfur in the air
I'm a fraud, a hoke, a charlatan, a joke,
But they love me everywhere
For it really doesn't matter what I do, what I do
As long as I do it with a flair
And it really doesn't matter what I say, what I say
As long as I say it with a flair
First I rattle off a ready stock of gibberish and poppycock
And fix you with my best hypnotic stare
With my moans and groans and soporific tones they have cheered me everywhere
For, it really doesn't matter what I say, what I say
I said it when I tell it with a seamless selabin
The magicians nursery rhyme
Abra cadabra! You succumb to it, every time
Wave a stick, and each trick, will mystify and disarm
In fact, to coin a fitting phrase, it works, like a charm
So, it really doesn't matter what I brew, what I brew
As long as I brew it with a flair
Though I've never cast a magic spell
I make the motions very well
My showmanship is far beyond compare
I'm a rogue, a rake, a mountebank, a fake,
But I do what e'er I dare
For, it really doesn't matter what I do, what I do
You buy my charms and poxes 'cause they come in fancy boxes
To improve your ugly daughter, I've a vial of colored water
And my magic incantations can be framed as decorations,
Though there's really nothing to it, and of course, you all see through it,
You love me cause I do it, with a flair
