Raise your glass,
We have incorporated.
Place your bets,
We're all so sick of waiting.
Queen takes Jack,
You got me this time,
But I'll get you back.
So pick a number.
To all the ones who tried the most;
Was I supposed to cheer your efforts?
Sorry that I chose so poorly.
Golly gee, am I the poster girl?
She's the kind of girl who looks for love in all the lonely places.
The kind who comes to poker, pockets stuffed with kings and aces.
She's the kind of girl who only asks you over when its raining,
Just to make you lie there catching water dripping from the ceiling.
Lift your hats
Off to the checkout girls with tattooed backs;
They'd make an angel's skin crawl.
If you ask them for assistance,
Theres an even chance
You'll get a number.
To all the girls at pearl, the surly boys who get to masticate them;
I've a prize for each and every one of you, so just be patient.
To all the ones that hated me the most; a toast.
You really had me going for a second, I was nervous.
Boy, am I the poster girl.
Shes the kind of girl who gets her slings and arrows from the dumpster.
The kind who tells you shes bipolar just to make you trust her.
Shes the kind of girl who leaves out condoms on the bedroom dresser,
Just to make you jealous of the men she f*cked before you met her.
To all the ones that thought they knew me best; a test to prove your prowess.
Who was mine in '99? I want last names and current status.
To all the ones that hated me the most; a toast.
You really had me going for a second, I was nervous.
Boy am I the poster girl for some suburban sickness,
Better keep a healthy distance.
Now it's up to you,
Know what to do,
It's pretty dirty business.